We've gone over this before about how i'm ashamed of my own culture and everything.

To be very honest with you, I feel like at times I agree with all the stereotypes that had been thrown at me when I was in middle school. One of my hispanic classmates asked me if I could drive. I told him that I was not 18 yet. Then an asian friend of mine told me that as an asian, one couldn't drive.
Once when i was reading a math problem off my textbook, my teacher told me that I sounded like I was speaking Chinese. How do you like that?
At times i feel like laughing with others about this. Maybe it's self-hate or just sheer merriment. Like this one episode of The Carrie Diaries, when they were trying to make a turkey for thanksgiving, Carrie's friend was referred to as an oriental maid and i began cracking up.
Or this one time when my business instructor asked me if the people who spoke in a foreign tongue were speaking Chinese, I replied,"No, they weren't."
I don't know why this is still happening, because we now live in the 21st century and racism should be a thing of the past, not that of the present.

[KathyM]

I've noticed the rampant stereotyping and racism as well, and I haven't seen it get much better over time - if at all. It comes from all angles, so all you can do is rise above it all in order to bring yourself balance. I know it's easier said than done. It's only their ignorance showing, but it doesn't mean you are better. We all struggle, so do you best to rise above it all without stepping on the toes of those who also struggle. It lessens the chance of having it thrown back at you as you attempt to stand on your own two feet.

[Travelinglady]

I agree with KathyM. Sometimes it's just these people's ignorance. I'm sure they are hard to ignore, but please try not to buy into negative stereotypes. Being able to laugh is good, as long as you aren't just masking your true feelings.

I so wish one of these days you could move to a different place, Heyitsme7, where people are more tolerant and less ignorant. You have reason to be proud of your heritage. For example, the Chinese were the first to accomplish many things--even fireworks and exams for civil servants--and there are many successful Chinese people today. And their older cities and culture as a whole are amazing. (Just one group, as an example.) How about looking up people from your heritage who are famous?

I know of universities who have students and professors from all over the world. My son goes to one of them. He has friends who are brilliant from places such as China, South Korea, Japan, Africa, and on and on.

By the way, as a former college professor, I am very impressed with your vocabulary and writing skills. You are a very smart guy. It would be sad indeed if you "allow" such ignorant people to keep you from a promising future.

BTW, being white has its disadvantages. For example, being hated just for the color of your skin and blamed for things you really had or have no control over. None of us can pick what group we are born into.

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

I agree with KathyM. Sometimes it's just these people's ignorance. I'm sure they are hard to ignore, but please try not to buy into negative stereotypes. Being able to laugh is good, as long as you aren't just masking your true feelings.

I so wish one of these days you could move to a different place, Heyitsme7, where people are more tolerant and less ignorant. You have reason to be proud of your heritage. For example, the Chinese were the first to accomplish many things--even fireworks and exams for civil servants--and there are many successful Chinese people today. And their older cities and culture as a whole are amazing. (Just one group, as an example.) How about looking up people from your heritage who are famous?

I know of universities who have students and professors from all over the world. My son goes to one of them. He has friends who are brilliant from places such as China, South Korea, Japan, Africa, and on and on.

By the way, as a former college professor, I am very impressed with your vocabulary and writing skills. You are a very smart guy. It would be sad indeed if you "allow" such ignorant people to keep you from a promising future.

BTW, being white has its disadvantages. For example, being hated just for the color of your skin and blamed for things you really had or have no control over. None of us can pick what group we are born into.

I am not going to study abroad because I was born and raised here. I've never been to one of these countries before and have no plans on traveling there.

The Chinese? I've always hated to be called "The Chinese" because it makes me feel too asian. Gee, wonder why they never attach "American" to it.

[Travelinglady]

Sorry, I didn't say what I meant very clearly. The university I was talking about is right here in the U.S. And there are other schools who are like this one, too. You wouldn't need to live in another country!

I've heard the term "Chinese American."

Oh, well, I tried, Heyitsme7.

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

Sorry, I didn't say what I meant very clearly. The university I was talking about is right here in the U.S. And there are other schools who are like this one, too. You wouldn't need to live in another country!

I've heard the term "Chinese American."

Oh, well, I tried, Heyitsme7.

I guess i just glossed over it. I didn't mean to offend you. I'm in a very crappy mood this morning because i just relapsed.

[Travelinglady]

Oh, no, I wasn't offended at all. I am just concerned that I somehow wasn't successful in being helpful to you.

As you say, we have "gone over this before." And I am distressed because no matter what I say, I can't seem to help you get out of this way of thinking.

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

Oh, no, I wasn't offended at all. I am just concerned that I somehow wasn't successful in being helpful to you.

As you say, we have "gone over this before." And I am distressed because no matter what I say, I can't seem to help you get out of this way of thinking.

I can if someone tells me otherwise. Most of the time when I ask others these questions they have no idea what I'm talking about. They're like,"That's just you because we never thought of you that way." I was like,"Really?"

[KathyM]

(((Heyitsme7))

If people only see you as "Chinese," would it really matter if they attached "American" to the term? My husband is Mexican-American, born and raised here - he's never even been to Mexico. Still to many people, he's not "American" enough - because all they see are his features and skin color. They don't even know how to break past that barrier and see the real person. All they know is the stereotype, and that's all they want to know.

The same goes for my son with his African-American heritage. For some, he'll never be "white enough" to be a real citizen. From the time he could talk, he's been asked "What are you?" An honest answer could go either way. It can veer off into derogatory jokes about blacks, or it could turn into a history lesson about black people that have nothing to do with my son OR his father. Then people would turn around and ask me if I even knew his father or had I been raped. Is this really a good topic of discussion for a child to hear about his mother and father - or his beloved grandparents, extended family?

After a while, when people (young and old) would ask the "What are you" question, he'd respond with "Nice" or "Human" or "Hungry."

My husband STILL gets asked that question on almost a daily basis. When he's in no mood (or too busy) to discuss the issue, he'll sometimes respond with "I don't know - my mother was raped." If they ask about his mother, he'd say "I don't know - she was killed by my father when I was a baby." That usually shuts them up real quick - blank stares all around. At the very least, it might make them think twice before asking such personal questions.

Originally Posted by KathyM

(((Heyitsme7))

If people only see you as "Chinese," would it really matter if they attached "American" to the term? My husband is Mexican-American, born and raised here - he's never even been to Mexico. Still to many people, he's not "American" enough - because all they see are his features and skin color. They don't even know how to break past that barrier and see the real person. All they know is the stereotype, and that's all they want to know.

The same goes for my son with his African-American heritage. For some, he'll never be "white enough" to be a real citizen. From the time he could talk, he's been asked "What are you?" An honest answer could go either way. It can veer off into derogatory jokes about blacks, or it could turn into a history lesson about black people that have nothing to do with my son OR his father. Then people would turn around and ask me if I even knew his father or had I been raped. Is this really a good topic of discussion for a child to hear about his mother and father - or his beloved grandparents, extended family?

After a while, when people (young and old) would ask the "What are you" question, he'd respond with "Nice" or "Human" or "Hungry."

My husband STILL gets asked that question on almost a daily basis. When he's in no mood (or too busy) to discuss the issue, he'll sometimes respond with "I don't know - my mother was raped." If they ask about his mother, he'd say "I don't know - she was killed by my father when I was a baby." That usually shuts them up real quick - blank stares all around. At the very least, it might make them think twice before asking such personal questions.

I hate when even my own race ask me that. I'm like,"Can't you tell that I'm chinese, since all asians have distinct looks?" then again, if they could differentiate between different types of asians, they would not have mistaken a chinese person for being japanese.

[Travelinglady]

I gather you have features of both groups from your parents.

It's too bad we can't just see people as "humans" and not worry otherwise about who or what they are. Is that part of the stereotyping process? People feel like they need to put someone into a category, so they can make assumptions about them?

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

I gather you have features of both groups from your parents.

It's too bad we can't just see people as "humans" and not worry otherwise about who or what they are. Is that part of the stereotyping process? People feel like they need to put someone into a category, so they can make assumptions about them?

Oh, no, I'm not Japanese. Yeah, I mean, it's really the looks that bother people. It seems like no matter how great our intentions are, we seem like outsiders. Like this one time when this man was trying to get his message across to some lady and the lady just pretended not to hear him and was all like,"Oh, I'm sorry I can't hear you." I wanted to say something. I wanted to say,"Listen, if you can't understand him, you might as well get yourself an interpreter."

[gnat]

I work with a woman born and raised in the US with an Indian name. Our job is in an office where all of our client contacts are entirely over the phone so our clients make assumptions based on our names. From time to time we get complaints from her clients that they cannot understand her due to her heavy accent. This always leaves the office in stitches as her "accent" is no different from mine, but I have an American sounding name. At the same time it's sad as it shows how strong racism is. People see stereotypes even when then don't exist. Studies have shown that racism is higher in areas where resources are scarce. I believe this is because it is based on fear not reality. If people feel insecure or afraid, they find comfort in lashing out at others which often surfaces as rasicm.

Be proud of who you are. I have Native American heritage in my bloodlines and am proud of, but I have no culture as a result of my family's racism. I would love to learn more about it but am too far from it now to learn aside from attending random Pow Wows of tribes I may or not be related to. It's sad that my family let this culture go when they should have been proud of who they were.

Before, I wanted to be Filipino because they look so unique and they have spanish blood and I was like,"Anyone with European blood would look so beautiful."

I can be so negative when it comes to race, especially the fact that I descended from the chinese. I don't recognize that as part of my heritage because I have honestly no clue what it is for the most part. I don't even understand why I should embrace it.
What makes it worse is that when you learn history, you just have that moment where you're like,"Oh, this is what happened. I am mad."

[KathyM]

You could also look at your "heritage" it from a different angle. You did not inherit the politics of China. You did not inherit the tourist attractions and cultural delights of China. What you inherited was the strength of your ancestors - not the strength of mythical characters, YOUR ancestors....mother, father, grandparents, great grandparents, etc.

Strangers who confront you may know about Chinese people, but they do not know your personal family story. They do not know what your family had to endure, the struggle and obstacles they faced, and the burdens they carried. For the most part, neither do you. It would be unwise to live your life on the coat-tails of a distant, long-lost relative - be they hero, villain or stranger. They did their best, and so should you.

However, you CAN reflect back on their courage, strength, and wisdom to endure despite the odds throughout history. If they would not have had the courage to endure, you'd have no coattails to reflect back on today.

[avlady]

I myself wish everybody was treated equalliy, but i don't see that happening too soon. We all have to live with each other, no matter who is what-that's even hard to say, but people are so ignorant sometimes and don't even realise what they are saying or doing to make another feel bad inside, no one is better than another because of heritage etc...just saying, please be kind to one another.

Originally Posted by avlady

I myself wish everybody was treated equalliy, but i don't see that happening too soon. We all have to live with each other, no matter who is what-that's even hard to say, but people are so ignorant sometimes and don't even realise what they are saying or doing to make another feel bad inside, no one is better than another because of heritage etc...just saying, please be kind to one another.

For the past three years, I have only seen things as beautiful and ugly. I always saw white men and women as beautiful creatures and asians as a bunch of eyesores, even myself.

whenever i heard someone making fun of how an asian speaks, i would just laugh. I know I shouldn't but then other asian american kids are doing it too so i'm like okay.