[csu1]

I met someone back in May. Right around this time I was moving To Florida for the summer. I explained to this guy my situation and he told he understood and that he would wait for me. We talked every single day. Got to know each other more and more. Confided in each other about things we could never tell our closest friends. Towards July I accidently flipped out on him. I apologized and told him I took my anger out on the wrong person. He told me he forgave me but since then we haven't talked. When we do I reached out to him. Last time we talked he told me he just wanted me back home because where I'm at and the people around me has changed me, and that he would probably still be single by the time I came back. Last time I reached out to him was about 2 weeks ago. He's always been one of those people who cares but once you start doing things that changes you or let people get to you he'll stop caring. So my family kept on getting to me whether it was about him or just me. I let them get me and he let go because of it.
I recently had a break down because I miss him and I didn't realized how much. I'm trying so hard not to contact him but its hard. All I do is think about him and the time we spent getting to know each other and it hurts. I've been through so much by myself and meeting him was the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. I was happy with him. I was happy talking to him. He made me smile and he made me laugh and no one has been able to do that. I just want to hear his voice. I just want him back. I've been crying so much and I never cry. I've been doing things I told myself I would never do again but they help cope and they stop me from contacting him. When I'm under the influence of something I don't contact him. When I'm sober I just want to call him or text him. I don't know what to do anymore. I cry myself to sleep, its just breaking my heart. All I want is to talk to him again.

[NWgirl2013]

Transparency is the key. If you want to call him, call him. Tell him you are heartbroken without any contact. Don't apologize anymore for the mistaken temper flare that he already said he forgave you for. Now you have to forgive yourself. Reassure him of your continued care for him.
If you were as close as you say, you can bet he misses you too but you scared him a little. So don't do that again. Remember he has feelings too & take care of them. Treasure him. Take it slow.
I wish you the best in this ...

hang in there!