[hartbroken]

I sure don't. I'm just wondering where I fit in.

I keep thinking my dopamine/serotonin levels will balance out and I will return to how I was as a kid. But I'm 42 and waiting, and I can only pray that will happen.

I'm so frustrated at mental illness. It robs you of so much joy and happiness. My inner man is so depressed and miserable. I read self-help books for mentally ill people, I read my bible, I listen to people talk and try to apply the things I "think" I've learned...But I'm still miserable, and I know it's because of the chemical imbalances occurring, but everyone tries the old bandaid approach, "Fake it 'til you make it!" (AA slogan) To me that's a bunch of BS, because if they knew what we were going thru they wouldn't offer such stupid advice.

[manwithnofriends]

But to be given antidepressants... surely that is also a sign of neglect? You're given the antidepressants by someone who can't be bothered to listen to you. That is not the solution to your problems. I'd have thought it's just as "bandaid" as the approach you say doesn't work i.e. the "advice" given by those who were never in the same situation as you.

I know I can't "advise" you either. Because only you can change yourself. No one else can do it for you.

i never feel "happy" as in, happy with life and what's going on- but i do have my moments where i forget my illness and just feel "okay"

[Sadley]

Nope, I never feel happy. I don't even know what it feels like anymore. I've been told all kinds of BS, including "Fake it til you make it", "snap out of it", "there is no reason for you to be depressed" and "things could always be worse". None of this ever helps. I see no hope at all.

Yes. I do definitely feel happy, probably just as much as the "average" person. Maybe even more, though I couldn't really say.

There was definitely a time though, a LOOOOONG time, that I was utterly miserable. Everything was horrible. I was pretty much just laying in bed and staring at the ceiling. On occasion I would liven things up and stare at the wall.

i got out of the bed phase eventually, but everything still sucked. For a long time. What got me out of the "reality as a Hoover" phase was that I started really working on myself in addition to just talk therapy and medication- both of which were helpful.

But I found I needed to do more. I had to examine myself, my actions, my behaviors. What could I change? Why was I acting this way? Is it detrimental and can I change it? What might make things easier?

I didn't want to be angry and irritable at everyone anymore, so worked on that.

This wasn't over a week though. This has been going on for several years and is ongoing. A conscious effort to improve how I interact with my world.

It's hard. It's difficult to change.
But it can be done.

I do get depressed. But that is separate and distinct from my inherent disposition and just how I am on a day-to-day basis.

[-jimi-]

I have my good days. But I'm never where I want to be. It makes me unhappy not to have accomplished anything in life. Stupid brain.

[MoxieDoxie]

I always mistaken happiness for not feeling negative,suicidal, anxiety.......I always mistaken happiness for feeling some kind of peace.....I mistaken happiness for feeling what I believe is normal........I mistaken happiness for having a "clear" day. I mistaken happiness for getting what I want or needed at the moment. I make all these mistakes because I do not think I ever learned what happiness feels like or I just never felt it before. Then joy is also something that is foreign to me.

[avlady]

I am depressed all the time, i think because i am isolated in my situation living away from the city where i grew up a few miles away. I wish i could work i'm on disability.

[HealingTimes]

I refuse to take any meds, so i researched how to lift my mood naturally. Sounds really pathetic to google 'how to be happy', but thats what it came to.

I try and do something that i enjoy at least once a week, not isolate myself, eat a reasonably healthy diet and get enough exercise (i currently get 3-5 hours a day).
I am also thinking about taking a multi vitamin.

[SadGingyPandy]

I also have my moments, but they're gone too quickly. I feel like a failure most of the time. I beat myself up for things that are not in my control. I'm my own worse enemy. I think I will always sabotage myself in some form.

[Martha Lee]

I feel happy when I'm working ( artist/portraits ) and when I'm swimming. But there's a feeling of anxiety around people. Working from home, I'm alone - this is good because I love what I do, music is playing and helping to block out anxious moods.

[Lmats]

I have times when I get happy, but I prefer not to be happy. To me, happiness is really scary because I don't really understand it. It's also a pretty good indication that my mood is about to crash. Happiness leads to disappointment for me. I don't really know how else to describe it. Typically, if I'm not sad or angry, I'm just numb.

[angryworld]

Yes, I can still feel happy. Sometimes when I'm not happy I can still remember what it feels like, but when I'm really low I can't even remember that and it does seem like there can never be happiness again.
I have a list, my Top 5 good things that are in my life, and remembering the list helps.
A daily multivitamin helps smooth things out, and sometimes naproxen if pain is an issue.

[-jimi-]

I guess people always want more... When I was really depressed, all I wanted was to feel decent, the way I do now. Sure life isn't all good, but I don't fall apart because I have to cook a meal or wash a plate. I was so bad off I couldn't do the simplest things, or when I did them it was with a lot of effort, it was both mentally and physically draining. Now I can do a lot of things that I couldn't. I used to think I would be that depressed forever.

Now that is a decade ago. And I start despairing over other things. Even if I'm not severely unhappy day to day, I still cannot do what I was placed on earth to do. Then I wonder what the heck I'm doing here. I almost wish I was one of those people who were happy with life day to day and has no goals. Those exist but I'm simply not one of them. If the world is exactly the same when I die as it is now, my life has been pointless.

[Puchilin]

You feel like you are on this earth not doing what you are supposed to be doing .,,,, all that you need to do is love yourself I know easier said than done it is actually one of the hardest things to do I practise religiously even if I don't feel it a thing called gratitude. I do it daily some days that list is extremely long others I only manage to write a sentence or two but it does help me switch my thinking from doomed to groomed if you can just try it

[-jimi-]

I'm not here to love myself. Actually I believe in being humble and not being selfish. And I have gifts so I feel I should use them, not just being a lazy consumer.

[gayleggg]

I have no happy moments; no joy. This has been for nine months. Before that I had a mixed episode for quite a while, that's the last time I had any happy moments. I had hope that I would get better again but am losing that hope with each passing day.

[LostNAngry]

No, no happy days here either. Never..I wish I could have them back though.....My first thought when I wake up everyday is Im still here??? (im not suicidal I just find no pleasure in life at all)

[ToeJam]

Well, I laugh and smile now and again... but I'm not sure how often I'm genuinely happy as such. Weird as I used to consider them to be synonymous, but the feeling of 'elation?' dissipates so fast that I never consider myself in a happy state.

Not sure if that makes sense.

[Dionysius]

Originally Posted by JosieTheGirl

Yes. I do definitely feel happy, probably just as much as the "average" person. Maybe even more, though I couldn't really say.

There was definitely a time though, a LOOOOONG time, that I was utterly miserable. Everything was horrible. I was pretty much just laying in bed and staring at the ceiling. On occasion I would liven things up and stare at the wall.

i got out of the bed phase eventually, but everything still sucked. For a long time. What got me out of the "reality as a Hoover" phase was that I started really working on myself in addition to just talk therapy and medication- both of which were helpful.

But I found I needed to do more. I had to examine myself, my actions, my behaviors. What could I change? Why was I acting this way? Is it detrimental and can I change it? What might make things easier?

I didn't want to be angry and irritable at everyone anymore, so worked on that.

This wasn't over a week though. This has been going on for several years and is ongoing. A conscious effort to improve how I interact with my world.

It's hard. It's difficult to change.
But it can be done.

I do get depressed. But that is separate and distinct from my inherent disposition and just how I am on a day-to-day basis.

Well done, JosieTheGirl, I must try to do the same.