[Grey Matter]

Like many people with OCD/anxiety, one of my biggest fears is having the detectors go off at any store signaling I stole something, even when I have paid for everything fairly. It is an intrusive thought I can't make go away.

I walked around a store today in the mall. My sister was with me, and she left ahead of me. I was putting my wallet away, and made my way out. Then this 18 year old kid stopped me, misgendered me, and said (and the conversation as follows) "I was wondering what you did with the merchandise in your hand." "...Excuse me?" "The merchandise you were holding as you left the store." "The only thing I was holding in the store was my phone, wallet, and what I purchased." "I hope what ever you tried to steal is on a shelf...." "You're making an assumption based on nothing." "Then let me see your bags." "I just purchased from your store. And I do not need to show you my bags." "I guess I am calling security then, and then we can see what you stole."

Now, my sister is standing RIGHT THERE well aware that I hadn't taken a damned thing. I bought a pull over, had the receipt to prove it. I did not want a strange, immature kid going through my personal items. So security got there. Three guards. And at this point I was trying to keep it together for my sister. They were all rude, calling me a thief. Saying it's always "my type" and that it's "that time of the year". I said "I work in retail. I am aware of shoplifting." which threw them off. I just dropped my bags onto the floor and said "go ahead, look". They made a mess of everything. Threw one of my brothers guitar picks on the floor. And when the item I DIDN'T STEAL wasn't found but the LEGAL PURCHASE I MADE WAS they all hurried to apologize and asked me not to take it personally that this is how they treat shoplifters. I said "Shame. I'm not a shoplifter."

The kid looked horrified after that because I glared at him as I put my things away. I was on the verge of vomiting.

Now I am home and I can't calm down. That was terrifying. And yay, more god damn harassment in my life.

[Yoda]

Oh boy, I would be MAD!

Do you think you could call tomorrow and complain about how you were treated emphasizing you did nothing wrong? Or call corporate maybe?

I am sorry you were treated so badly for no just cause.

[Poppy Princess]

Well, at least you embarrassed them in the end.

[IndieVisible]

It sounds to me that you handled the situation perfectly!

[Grey Matter]

Yoda, I think I will be calling tomorrow because the more I think about it the more sick I get. It was just done out in the open. This kid followed me around the store to no end and knew full well I didn't steal anything. It's just so infuriating.

Thanks, Indie. I tried, and it was hard. Now that I am home, I can't seem to get it together. I just got myself out of the house and socializing again, and now It just seems all undone because of this stupid incident.

They had no legal right to search you but you have a right to be angry. Probably best to just put it behind you now but I'd be tempted to complain also... not that it would accomplish anything.

[Grey Matter]

yeah, it wont. Then again everyone who has treated me so horribly has gotten away with it, so why bother.

I don't know about that but I'm not advising you not to call. I'm just cynical in general about how retailers respond to complaints and specifically of this store's system. A lawsuit might get their attention.

[unaluna]

"Your kind". It's like when that store lady in Switzerland told Oprah she couldnt afford the purse she wanted to look at. Oprah could have effin bought the whole freakin store. My old dentist told me he used to get hassled all the time at the stores. He was rich, he just didnt care to dress up. This was a long time ago.

Btw, I like that term, misgendered. I get misgendered a lot. And I don't think I'm even trying for it one way or the other - people just seem to have their opinion that I am not girly enough, or that I look like I wanna be a boy? Cuz I usually get called sir, and I'm like, wtf?? Have I not boobs? Do I not bleed? Okay, no way they would know about that, but still...

[Yoda]

Teen Idle, whether or not you complain or not to the store or to corporate depends on how that would make you feel. I was always taught to pick my battles. If complaining would be stressful for you then it would be a bad idea. Your self care comes first and if you just need to vent here at PC where we can support you then do so.

[tinyrabbit]

I used to work in retail and am absolutely appalled at how you were treated. I'm in the UK where things are maybe different, IDK, but I absolutely would complain. I would write them a letter about why their treatment of you was unacceptable and how they have lost a customer, potentially discouraged other customers, and had a serious effect on your wellbeing.

They need to rethink their policies. The correct thing to do would have been to ask to see inside your bags and to do so a) in private, e.g. in the back office, and b) carefully. The fact they mishandled your stuff is just not on. Even if someone has shoplifted, it's STILL not okay to treat them like this!

I'm so sorry you had this experience. I really would urge you to complain and I would copy it to their head office.

[FrayedEnds]

Sorry that happened to you Teen Idle. You held it together much better than I would have!
I definitely would call and complain, but I understand why many wouldn't bother. I used to work in retail as well and we were *not allowed* to approach customers if we thought they were shoplifting...even if we saw it, we still had to inform security, and they handled it (not in the middle of the store either)

Originally Posted by Teen Idle

Yoda, I think I will be calling tomorrow because the more I think about it the more sick I get. It was just done out in the open. This kid followed me around the store to no end and knew full well I didn't steal anything. It's just so infuriating.

Thanks, Indie. I tried, and it was hard. Now that I am home, I can't seem to get it together. I just got myself out of the house and socializing again, and now It just seems all undone because of this stupid incident.

How horrible.. That's something I would call and complain about to the manager. They should have dealt with the situation in a backroom, in private and not in front of all the other customers. They owe you at least a written apology for humiliating you and causing emotional distress.

Originally Posted by Teen Idle

Yoda, I think I will be calling tomorrow because the more I think about it the more sick I get. It was just done out in the open. This kid followed me around the store to no end and knew full well I didn't steal anything. It's just so infuriating.

Thanks, Indie. I tried, and it was hard. Now that I am home, I can't seem to get it together. I just got myself out of the house and socializing again, and now It just seems all undone because of this stupid incident.

Originally Posted by hankster

"Your kind". It's like when that store lady in Switzerland told Oprah she couldnt afford the purse she wanted to look at. Oprah could have effin bought the whole freakin store. My old dentist told me he used to get hassled all the time at the stores. He was rich, he just didnt care to dress up. This was a long time ago.

Btw, I like that term, misgendered. I get misgendered a lot. And I don't think I'm even trying for it one way or the other - people just seem to have their opinion that I am not girly enough, or that I look like I wanna be a boy? Cuz I usually get called sir, and I'm like, wtf?? Have I not boobs? Do I not bleed? Okay, no way they would know about that, but still...

I'm not sure it's the same situation like the store lady in switzerland and Oprah. The OP was openly accused of shoplifting, whereas with Oprah, it's more like a case of language barriers / miscommunication and the media twisting facts. When Oprah told the media about the incident, she pointed the finger at the Swiss seller. Usually there are two sides of the story and each party bears some responsibility in my opinion.
From what I understood, the lady who was showing Oprah the collection told Oprah that the purse she was holding in her hand was the same model as the purse in the display cabinet, only smaller.
Neither women spoke the other's language well enough. The Swiss seller didn't understand why the customer wanted her to get the purse from the display cabinet and Oprah didn't understand why the seller wouldn't do as she was told. Of course it's unfortunate that both parties got hurt. This situation could have been avoided I think, if one of them would have gotten a third person to translate and to clear up the misunderstanding.

[Jan1212]

I would call the manager and mentioned his name. I would even call the company to complain, this is like harassment. You have everything documented and what happened, you should get something out of this.