[mandypandymoo]

Hey I'm Manda, 14 yrs old and I've been going through some hard stuff lately. My old friends have been being really mean to me and spreading rumors that I'm bullimic and other stuff like that. Its actullay pretty insulting to hear that. I'm thin but I can't gain weight easily. There's also a new girl and shes really nice and I keep trying to be friends with her but I feel like she blows me off. Ever since this has started I've lost two friends and I'm slowly losing another because people keep making jokes about us, hes a guy. :/ I really have nobody to talk to? What do I do? I'm really sad and lonely and need a good friend.

My best friend is also moving schools this year. :<

[grey_aj]

Hi Manda, I'm 17 and in my last few months of high school and I just want to let you know that it's a super crazy ride and you just have to hold on until the end, because you will *get there*. There are going to be great memories but also low moments, but in the end you really learn a lot about yourself. I mean it.

I'm assuming you're not bulimic. You're thin but you can't gain weight easily. That's your body and there's nothing you or anyone else can do about it. If other people don't understand that, that's too bad. Don't feel like you have to counter their opinions by suddenly eating more, because there is nothing wrong. Kick *** at what you're good at and just focus on the things that make you happy.

If the new girl doesn't like you, don't take it too personally. She's still trying to adjust and maybe your chemistry just doesn't work out. Again, there's nothing you can do to change either of your personalities to become friends. Maybe help her out and show her around but don't feel obliged to befriend her. Just giving her a place to start is great, and shows that you care about others.

As for your own friends, maybe start off by seriously clarifying to them that you are *not* bulimic. Even if they know this, really lay it out for them word by word. Tell them how it's not funny to joke about eating disorders AT ALL, let alone about their own friend. Easier said than done, but show them that you are serious. People are going to take you the way you present yourself to them.

Guys that make jokes about girls are douchebags. I've met plenty. Stick up for the other friend who's being joked about, and don't let it get to you because these are just immature insecure teenage boys who don't mean a thing.

If your old friends still aren't willing to apologize, then move on. You obviously don't need them, and they obviously don't care about you. Typical advice: join activities, meet ppl with similar interests, etc.

I'm not going to tell you to go to an adult because I know how hard that is, but if you feel like things are still going downhill to a point where it is unbearable, and you have an adult that you can trust, you might confide in them.

I know all of this is easier said than done, but just some suggestions. Best of luck, and stay safe.

- AJ

[mandypandymoo]

Thanks for the great advice! I'm slowly working it out and I think my friends are starting to understand how hurtful it is.

[yuki-onna]

High school is crazy, but never fear, it will also end. I was teased for years about being too thin (I was skinny skinny skinny) and since I ate like a horse (having to bike 15 miles every day) I was of course teased for being bulimic...years later, I found out they were jealous of my natural thinness and one of the girls who teased me for having an eating disorder suffered from anorexia.

Bottom line, I know it's hard, but try not to take it too personally. Teenagers are very prone to taking out their frustrations on other teenagers. Keep your head held high and they'll learn to leave you alone. Real friends will stick with you and not make you feel like crap. It really DOES get better.