so fuuuu annoyed

Mar 26, 2014 at 07:02 PM

If there's anything that I can't stand, it's people who don't let you do anything for yourself. I am always clashing with people because they think they should go over me and do everything for me, regardless of me asking or not. They believe I'm incapable. I shouldn't have to prove to anybody that I can and am able to do things for myself. How have any of you experienced this and how do you deal with it?

mugenishere · Mar 27, 2014 at 11:21 AM

Hi herpeoorsoul, I can somewhat relate to what you're going through. There are many strong personalities around me who want to get things done their way. They believe that their way is right and can be a persistent for their opinions and a blind eye to yours. I feel anger towards some of these people at times.

One such person is my boss at work. He's way too controlling and micromanages me. So I tried to showcase some good work to win his trust. Once I had his trust I tried to explain some of his negative behaviors to him - very gently and one thing for a few months only. Over the course of 2 years he has become much better I feel.

shabur · Mar 30, 2014 at 12:08 PM

You don't say what these things are related to and I don't want to assume so my response will be general.
Do you or have you tried to tell the people who are doing this to "Stop"? (but in a much nicer way) Is there something you are doing, that you may not be aware of, that makes these people think you need help?
My suggestion would be to let them know you are GOING TO do "that" and they need not take their time.
I hope this helps.

Apr 19, 2014 at 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shabur

You don't say what these things are related to and I don't want to assume so my response will be general.
Do you or have you tried to tell the people who are doing this to "Stop"? (but in a much nicer way) Is there something you are doing, that you may not be aware of, that makes these people think you need help?
My suggestion would be to let them know you are GOING TO do "that" and they need not take their time.
I hope this helps.

Thanks for your ideas. The problem is that I experience this in all aspects of my life & I'm always ignored when I make it clear I know what I'm doing. It's extremely frustrating because I am labeled passive regardless.

Apr 19, 2014 at 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mugenishere

Hi herpeoorsoul, I can somewhat relate to what you're going through. There are many strong personalities around me who want to get things done their way. They believe that their way is right and can be a persistent for their opinions and a blind eye to yours. I feel anger towards some of these people at times.

One such person is my boss at work. He's way too controlling and micromanages me. So I tried to showcase some good work to win his trust. Once I had his trust I tried to explain some of his negative behaviors to him - very gently and one thing for a few months only. Over the course of 2 years he has become much better I feel.

I know about the anger. Even when I do things myself there is always some excuse as to why I'm incapable, whether it was something I said or something I did weeks ago.

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