[WithTheHate]

Today i woke up very down and sad. Im not quite sure why. I feel so tired and hopeless and worthless. Im 15 years old and i use to to suffor from severe depression last year. I use to self harm but not any more. Ive been doing things like smoking pot sometimes or taking pain killers to try to make myself feel better for nearly a year now. In that year ive been off and on being out of control and whack with my emotions. Like some days i wake up super down and some days i wake up super happy and okay. Then some days i wake up and my emotions are hanging on by a thread. Like even when little things happen i brrak out and i cant control myself. When i say cant control myself i mean that i get flushed with so many emotions at a time that i cant think or contol anything! I get so mad and sad and angry and irritated and depressed at the same time its hard to explain im so sorry. I also have suicidal thoughts and crazy thoughts. Crazy thoughts like sometimes i pause for a sec and picture myself doing soemthing like hurting myself or breaking things. I feel overall terrible most the time. I feel like anxiety and uncontrolable moods are stressing me out so much that i go out of it and talk to myself and yell at myself and hear this thing in my head telling me how much of a failure i am at life so far and how dissapointing i am and how ugly i am. I have a terrible self image and i can hardly stand me. I feel so alone and like what im feeling doesnt make since but could someone please help me what do i need to do!! My parents font know and i couldnt bring myself to tell them ever im so lost and hopless and sad and confused can someone help please itll mean so much.. Im sorry for wasting your time reading this im sorry

[Thunder Bow]

What you are doing with drugs is hurting you. Continue with Your Therapy.

[gayleggg]

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

What you are doing with drugs is hurting you. Continue with Your Therapy.

Thunder Bow is correct about this. This is not a good way to cope. Your parents would rather see you in therapy and getting better.

I agree with the others about the drugs hurting you. You need to sse your therapist and talk about the things that are happening to you. Let me say as a mom, I would absolutely want to know because I would do everything I could to help you. I wouldn't ever want my child to suffer in fear and loneliness. I don't want you to either. ((()))

[Black_Raynebow23]

Originally Posted by WithTheHate

Today i woke up very down and sad. Im not quite sure why. I feel so tired and hopeless and worthless. Im 15 years old and i use to to suffor from severe depression last year. I use to self harm but not any more. Ive been doing things like smoking pot sometimes or taking pain killers to try to make myself feel better for nearly a year now. In that year ive been off and on being out of control and whack with my emotions. Like some days i wake up super down and some days i wake up super happy and okay. Then some days i wake up and my emotions are hanging on by a thread. Like even when little things happen i brrak out and i cant control myself. When i say cant control myself i mean that i get flushed with so many emotions at a time that i cant think or contol anything! I get so mad and sad and angry and irritated and depressed at the same time its hard to explain im so sorry. I also have suicidal thoughts and crazy thoughts. Crazy thoughts like sometimes i pause for a sec and picture myself doing soemthing like hurting myself or breaking things. I feel overall terrible most the time. I feel like anxiety and uncontrolable moods are stressing me out so much that i go out of it and talk to myself and yell at myself and hear this thing in my head telling me how much of a failure i am at life so far and how dissapointing i am and how ugly i am. I have a terrible self image and i can hardly stand me. I feel so alone and like what im feeling doesnt make since but could someone please help me what do i need to do!! My parents font know and i couldnt bring myself to tell them ever im so lost and hopless and sad and confused can someone help please itll mean so much.. Im sorry for wasting your time reading this im sorry

Hey WithTheHate, I totally understand. I've never done drugs or self harm, but all the feelings I've felt or feel. My moods can change at any moment many times in one day or sometimes I'm happy one day then sad & angry the next day. And late at night I'm always sad at some point. My mom doesn't know anything about what I go through emotionally. She's actually part of my problem, lol! I talk to myself all time. I've gotten so comfortable doing so, it's hard for me to have a real-in person convo, aside from the fact that people give me anxiety. So, know that you're not alone! I hope you can find safe ways to feel better.