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Anonymous100336
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Default Apr 27, 2014 at 01:06 PM
  #1
I made a mistake, I apologized, I thought I was forgiven but things are not the same anymore, I wish things could just go back the way there were.

I've apologized, I've asked for forgiveness, and I've done all I can, I give up. There's nothing more I can do.
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Default Apr 27, 2014 at 01:55 PM
  #2
Hi brokenentity, it might just be that the trust has been knocked (??), but that doesn't mean that it can't be built back up. Maybe give it a bit of time for them to realize that it's not going to happen again, if it isn't??, or ask for their help to see that it doesn't happen again?? But I'm taking it that you need their forgiveness more than their understanding, did you??
Kind of hard to know if I'm near the mark without some more details though, if you could tell us a little more???
Alison
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Default Apr 27, 2014 at 02:04 PM
  #3
Yes, the trust was knocked... I gave them time, but maybe it isn't enough time. I think I've done all I can from my side to repair the damage.

I want things to go back to the way it was before, but if that can't happen, I'd at least find some comfort in knowing that my mistake didn't hurt them or they have recovered from it. Silence is not really what I want.
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Default Apr 27, 2014 at 02:40 PM
  #4
Hi bokenentity, sometimes things won't go back the way they were before but after time, healing, building back up the trust and learning from mistakes depending on the situation some relationships can grow even stronger.
Sometimes it can take months/years for trust to come back if it does so I suppose it depends on the nature of the relationship and what it means to you. Perhaps try talking to the person about how they really feel about the situation (without putting any pressure on them?).
But if the mistake is "in the past" then just you being you day-to-day could still be repairing the damage (if it can be repaired) afterall you're showing them each day that you're not doing it or anything like it again.
And if there were extenuating circumstances make sure they know about those and how you're making sure that they don't lead you to making the same mistake again. Also make sure they know exactly what you've learned from all of this, e.g. why it won't happen again.
It does sound like your mistake has hurt them, but the best you can do is maybe try to support them with that, do you think??
Alison
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Default Apr 27, 2014 at 07:05 PM
  #5
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Originally Posted by brokenentity View Post
I made a mistake, I apologized, I thought I was forgiven but things are not the same anymore, I wish things could just go back the way there were.

I've apologized, I've asked for forgiveness, and I've done all I can, I give up. There's nothing more I can do.
i'm in a similar situation as you, wishing i could make things the way they were before i f"ed up, i would say don't give up, a lot of times i want to give up but i hang in there, you may not be able to go back but you can go forward and make things better than they were in the future

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Last edited by trying2survive; Apr 27, 2014 at 07:05 PM.. Reason: misspelled word..oops!
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Default Apr 28, 2014 at 06:44 AM
  #6
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Originally Posted by Frankbtl View Post
Hi bokenentity, sometimes things won't go back the way they were before but after time, healing, building back up the trust and learning from mistakes depending on the situation some relationships can grow even stronger.
Sometimes it can take months/years for trust to come back if it does so I suppose it depends on the nature of the relationship and what it means to you. Perhaps try talking to the person about how they really feel about the situation (without putting any pressure on them?).
But if the mistake is "in the past" then just you being you day-to-day could still be repairing the damage (if it can be repaired) afterall you're showing them each day that you're not doing it or anything like it again.
And if there were extenuating circumstances make sure they know about those and how you're making sure that they don't lead you to making the same mistake again. Also make sure they know exactly what you've learned from all of this, e.g. why it won't happen again.
It does sound like your mistake has hurt them, but the best you can do is maybe try to support them with that, do you think??
Alison
It probably did hurt them, but they won't tell me the fact it did, they're ignoring me. I want to support them, but they don't want my support...
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Default Apr 28, 2014 at 06:45 AM
  #7
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Originally Posted by trying2survive View Post
i'm in a similar situation as you, wishing i could make things the way they were before i f"ed up, i would say don't give up, a lot of times i want to give up but i hang in there, you may not be able to go back but you can go forward and make things better than they were in the future
Hopefully
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Default Apr 28, 2014 at 07:25 AM
  #8
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Hopefully
all you can do is try, sometimes it works out other times it doesn't..in my situation i put all the blame on myself, but in a huge argument yesterday i realized that it wasn't all my fault & my ex caused a lot of what went wrong between us & i'm sure whatever happened with you wasn't 100% your fault.

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Default Apr 28, 2014 at 08:31 AM
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Originally Posted by trying2survive View Post
all you can do is try, sometimes it works out other times it doesn't..in my situation i put all the blame on myself, but in a huge argument yesterday i realized that it wasn't all my fault & my ex caused a lot of what went wrong between us & i'm sure whatever happened with you wasn't 100% your fault.
I think it was my fault entirely.... but I think i should be given another chance...
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Default Apr 28, 2014 at 10:43 AM
  #10
Hi brokenentity, then maybe talking to them and time???? But good luck!!!
Alison
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Default Apr 28, 2014 at 11:06 AM
  #11
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Originally Posted by brokenentity View Post
I think it was my fault entirely.... but I think i should be given another chance...
even if it is 100% your fault, you still deserve a second chance, i have given ex's 2nd and 3rd chances..maybe i'm an idiot but that's just me. people make mistakes, last time i checked no body was perfect and everybody f's up.
i do hope you get an opportunity to make amends! good luck, some people are more forgiving than others

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Smile Apr 28, 2014 at 12:53 PM
  #12
Hello Brokenentity: Well, from my perspective I'd just say move on. You've made the effort to reconcile & they're apparently not interested. There's no point in beating a dead horse, as the saying goes. (Apologies to horse lovers!) But then, at the same time, remain open to the possibility, if you can, that the person may change his / her mind. It could happen. But personally I wouldn't want to hang aound waiting for it to happen.
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