[nak0604]

I spent the past couple of days studying with my close best friend. I cry every time I think of the last moments with her. I feel pretty happy and then I feel kind of sad. I'm going to miss her over the summer. Our friendship is really close and we hug a lot. She's done so much for me I just don't know how to say thank you, just saying thank you to her just never feels like it will be enough. I don't understand why this is making me break down and effect me emotionally so much. If you don't know my full background then I suggest you take a look at a couple of my other threads.

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[Frankbtl]

Hi nak, it's completely understandable that it's going to be painful to think of not seeing her/her not being close to you, after everything that's gone on between you.
But maybe just try to focus a bit more on the good times you've shared and allow yourself to smile at what you've had. Nothing can take those memories away from you, they are something to be cherished/to hold close to you. No forgetting them, right??!!
And as for saying thankyou, yes, that can sometimes seem a bit "empty" (?) but it can depend on the feeling/emotions you put into saying it that can make it mean so much more. And I know you're going to be saying it with meaning!!
Then from what I remember you have let her know how important she is to you (mostly!! ) so she is going to know how special she has been in your life. Now that in itself is going to let her know how much she is appreciated. You can always repeat some of that if you feel able......but if not then she likely knows anyway.
And maybe you can send her a present, something personal/meaningful to her??
In terms of her leaving though, I know you'd want the best for her, so perhaps think of it as something she really needs/deserves and try to be happy for her, to keep hoping things are going well for her??
She will have given you plenty that you can draw on when times are hard too e.g. faith in yourself, strength, resilience............(??). So while it might not be at all easy for you, perhaps try to use some of those things? And just by using some of those things it can keep her closer to you as well.
And you know you've got us for support as well, so don't hesitate in telling us when things are hard for you!! Here to support you!!
Alison

[nak0604]

I've been trying to see if I could see her during the summer for a visit but I'm not sure that will work out. I just feel like I'm being torn apart over this, I'm over reacting about it and I can't help myself. My memory isn't that great so, I may have seemed to forget most of the good times but there in my head somewhere. I can't handle things well right now. I have a lot going on and idk what to do most of the time.

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[Frankbtl]

Hi nak, it sounds like you're feeling really lost right now?? You do have a lot to accept/to adjust to without her being right there for you, but she is still going to be there (just not physically there) and she is still going to care about you, and I'm guessing at the end of a phone/email/skype for you. What you've had with her distance isn't going to take away, nothing can take that away, right?? Distance is just a "thing", you're friendship runs deeper than that doesn't it?
But for now while it's hard perhaps you can focus on one/two things a week that are going to help you get through. Plan them out. They may be talking to her, talking to someone you're close to, scheduling in something to "look forward to", doing an activity that's going to help distract you/that you've enjoyed doing...............But you can plan in as many things as you need just to help you through. And for now, just one day at a time and then......just one week at a time.
Maybe some journalling will help you get out some of the bad feelings as well, and maybe even help remember the good times including some of the times that will be there for you again with her.
Alison

[nak0604]

Alison you can call me Nate. I do feel pretty lost, I'm pretty sure distance will not change our friendship but, honestly I'm not sure how we both will adjust to not being able to hug every time we see each other. I think we both will be bummed about that. We have a pretty strong friendship. I've done journaling before back in high school and gave those to her to respond/give feedback to and that was really helpful back then. Maybe I'll have to start it back up again.

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