Yesterday I had to go to the VA hospital. Since I'm a vet, I get all my meds and treatments there and all my caretakers are there. Several vans take vets to the differant facilities and my ride is about seventy miles. I had a driver two weeks ago yesterday that was very grouchy and mean and seemed to dislike me from the beginning. His left hand was heavily bandaged and I asked him how he had hurt it. He said cancer and he had just had a big growth removed and that it hurt like hell.

So I thought, okay, he's in a lot of pain and that's why he comes off as being so mean. I didn't think anymore of it until yesterday when I had to ride with him again. He acted like he hated me. The doors to the van are big and heavy and the driver always opens the door for you and helps you into and out of the van. I was standing in front of the passenger side door and a sweet elderly man was standing by the side door and we were waiting for him to help us. But he simply got into the driver's seat and ignored us! He continued to ignore us as we both struggled to get into the van, which has very high steps.

You always have to wait at the hospital for everyone to get their appointments done and it was a long day. On the way back I sat in the back to get away from him. I had mentioned to another one of the riders that I thought what he did was rude and he narcked on me.

When we reached our designated drop off, he came around to the side doors and flung them open and said, "I don't want anyone accusing me of being rude!" Then he approached me and told me he thought I would be better off with another driver and that he only drove on Mondays. I tried to ask him why he was so rude to me, he just got in the van and drove off.

I had several options at that point, one being to call and complain about him. But since I really need to use that van, it seemed wise not to cause any trouble. Another option I will use is to take his suggestion and not make anymore appointments on Monday. I was a little upset for about an hour and then I just let it go. I never did figure out what his problem with me was. Some vets don't like women vet's. Maybe he had been married to a redhead at one time and just didn't like redheads.

The point is that I think I handled it well. Some people take an instant dislike to you for whatever reason. Some people are just plain freaking mean. So I didn't put any blame on myself, or worry about it, as I would have in the past. I know that I didn't do anything wrong and after this post, I will probably not even think about it much. And if I do have an opinion, I will just keep it to myself. Not everyone is always going to like you, I guess, but that's okay. I like myself and my friends like me and that's all that really matters.

[hvert]

Wow, his behavior is pretty outrageous. I'm glad you are in a place where it's not bothering you. I also am trying to cure the bad habit of taking stuff like that personally and letting it ruin my day. Congratulations on overcoming that!

[Perna]

I think you handled it very well! I don't like to complain either, just not "use" whatever service (make appointments for other days he doesn't drive). I bet that some other people will complain though and eventually he will be caught on to. But he is the one with the attitude problem, it isn't about you since he doesn't know you at all. But his not helping the older guy is telling, not just about women vets or redheads?

Wow that's horrible how he treated you and I'm glad you have you're mind in a good place, cause I would have bawled my eyes out if I was ever in a position like that. Whenever someone is mean to me, I get so sensitive about. When I read you're thread I couldn't believe he would treat you so horribly but you're right all that truly matters is the people closest to you.

It's horrible how the other people narked on you, that was pretty childish indeed if I may say so. And you're right you didn't do anything wrong. You handled it so well. I'm proud of you!

[Fuzzybear]

He was very mean to you for no valid reason... You handled it well and like someone else said... He will be mean to others for no valid reason and then

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr at that other person for telling "teacher" (incredibly petty and childish!) !!

It really was all about him, kudos GB for seeing that

May the people who drive you in future be kind and compassionate

[Jolisse]

Understand that it's the other persons problem. I do the best I can and if you don't like me you can F Off. I'm so tired of being a decent human being and having to deal with "pigs" in society.

Thank you all!

Yeah, I used to get really hurt if someone said something snarky or even gave me a dirty look. But I've had to be so much stronger since my husband died. So I'm not so thin skinned anymore, or maybe it's just the
two years of DBT finally kicking in!

And the guy that narcked me oout was a former seal. Go figure.

[glok]

Good for you, Tea&Sympathy.

[Thunder Bow]

The big growth was on the hand he once hit people with.