[Fuzzybear]

How do you end a friendship, or a "friendship" kindly? Online or IRL. Does it matter to you to try at least to be kind as you remove an individual who has been your confidant and friend, for months, or many years? Do you still keep love in your heart for most past friends (I do..)

I remember the few times I wasn't kind.. (when the flowers had wilted and the love I held in my heart turned sour) Many years ago. (long before I joined pc) I don't like that person.
(not about anyone on pc, past or present)

Hi Fuzzy,

I suppose the residual emotions will be different for most, I think if you have established whether you are compassionate as a person amongst the mayhem of emotions you are experiencing, then I imagine it will be very difficult to feel nothing but negativity after the event.

To avoid those emotions maybe celebrate the memory of the friendship in your mind and the positivity and love you gained out of that friendship. <3

As for ending the friendship and how to, I think it would be crucial to write out why you are ending it and be honest with what you want to say so that the person is clear of your reason and does not feel abandoned. Also for your own peace of mind, then you could send it in an email or however you want to send it ? hope this helps x

[waiting4]

Honestly, fuzzy, I've never had to 'end' a friendship. I've lost friends of course, but that usually happened when we drifted away (because I wanted us to) or I just froze them out, because of rampant BPD. There was no conversation, as perhaps there should have been, to explain, so I was probably not kind.

I have a couple really good friends that I rarely speak to or see--but they are good friends because they know this is how I am, and I can't 'be there' all the time for them. We make it work on the basis of 'need to talk/see/hear' and even then it is no more than once a month or less. Yet, I could count on them in a pinch and they, me.

Ending a love relationship, involves communication. Even then, I've always been the 'ender' not the 'endie'.

*hugs* Good question!

[kaliope]

I just lose touch. I am not very social in the first place so if I no longer want someone in my life I would just no longer contact them. I wouldn't return their calls and I would just allow us to drift apart.

[Rohag]

Scattered thoughts...

Some friendships don't really end; they just go dormant.
Sometimes it may be kinder in the long run to abruptly end a friendship (depending on the people involved and the nature of the friendship), compelling both parties to grieve the break immediately and move on.
Oftentimes friendships fade naturally due to circumstances. Sometimes this is kind, and sometimes it leaves people frustrated and guessing.

I attempt to be kind, or at least not unkind.

I too am disapproving of many aspects of my younger self.