i can't handle this

My mom has been driving me and my dad crazy. I think she might have borderline personality disorder but I'm not sure. But I know that something is wrong.

15 minutes ago, my dad threatened to jump out of our apartment window. I don't know whether he was being serious or not, but he was at the window and he was sobbing and stuff and yelling stuff about my mom, and my mom was just yelling at him and telling him that he has issues when all he ever does is try to please her. I know that it doesn't matter whether he was being serious or not and that either way it is bad. All me and my dad ever do is gauge her reaction and act accordingly. She always refuses to admit that she's wrong. She's embarassed of my dad and I don't know what to do. At the same time she does a really good job of acting nice so ofc no one else suspects anything. When everything's great it's great. When it's not it's really not, there's not in between.

I'm personally on my dad's side. But I can't say that, right? And my parents have effectively isolated us from everyone outside the three of us and I don't know what to do or if I should do anything or what.

Please, any words of advice, anything.

- AJ

maybe your mom has some mental issues, she sounds controlling by using you and your dads own emotions to control hers too. I hate to admit it but i used to be that way when i was first sick with mental issues and found it hard to admit my diagnosis, schitzoaffective depression and bipolar. She needs to get help and i hope she does.

Sounds like you all need some help. Mom triggers things, but the response/reactions are also unhealthy--------if you would all go to a family t. that might be really helpful, if not, any one, or two of you can begin...this sounds like a cycle that everyone has become involved in keeping going-------------threatening to jump out the window is not funny, or a useful/adult/responsible reaction...

You shouldn't have to handle this insanity. You're an adult living with your parents, or a "child"? They need to get some help!

I try really hard not to get involved. It always starts with my mom yelling and then my dad also starts yelling and I just stay in my room but I felt like I kind of had to do *something* when the window stuff started.

I start college next week. I know that will make things better for *me* but it's still not really solving anything

- AJ

Go to college. (don't be surprised if you begin to have experiences away from home that trouble you----see a counselor, it may be the first time you are "free" enough for some things to come to the surface...) Stay at college. Work part time if you can. Focus Out of the Home, your parents need to do what they do, you cannot "fix" it.
When summer comes, get a summer job (camp counselor for instance)...
Have something to do on breaks. Seriously. Get out of the home situation for the first year at least if possible.