[pkey]

Hi everyone,
Don't really know what I'm expecting here, but I had a tough experience today. I had to write it down quickly:

It was with all playing fields level and it was just a standard conversation, and I couldn't articulate what I had to say. I just didn't have the words and they didn't come out. I don't think I had the thought either actually. I just got nervous because it was a completely standard conversation. Sure I met the guy (professionally) (it was over phone) for the first time, but he was asking standard questions that I just don't have the thoughts to answer - like "what opportunities are you interested in?" and "What kinds of things did you work on this summer?" I feel like this happens every single time I talk to someone. What does it mean when someone asks you a question and you just completely butcher the answer when you knew that you were at peak efficiency at the time? And you know that your answer would blow him away if you just put it together correctly? I'm just nervous all the time because I know that if there ever is an honest non-technical question thrown my way, I just won't be able to answer. Even if I sit down now and try to answer those questions, my words would just (and do) come out jumbled. How do I relax knowing that it is a possibility that someone could just ask me a fair and innocent question and the only thing that I could do is sit there and stare at them?

I've said before that I am a wonderful person. And I am, but I only communicate with myself through non-verbal thoughts. I'm fine with that and am grateful for the communication in the first place, but what does that say about me if I can't answer a simple question using my words?

Thanks,
pkey

[glok]

Hello, pkey. Perhaps, you might get some insight here: Ask the Therapist

I wish you well.

Originally Posted by pkey

I feel like this happens every single time I talk to someone.

This happens to me all the time...

Originally Posted by pkey

I'm just nervous all the time

Sounds like you're going through anxiety/social anxiety...I can't say for sure though. Have you been to a counselor? They can help you sort things out.

[agatha9]

Maybe you don't want to feel exposed or maybe you are not so sure about showing yourself, because you believe that all that really matters is your professional skills. Well, people also want to know you, because they need to know what kind of person they are going to work with.

To me it may say two things about you: you are a person who keeps a lot of secrets and that might be good, because you can be trustworthy, but it also could mean that you have done some things you don't want the world to know about. And it could also tell me that you are very shy, that you don't open up so easily, maybe because you're insecure.

The answer... You only know. In my experience, the only way to deal with such things is confronting them, overcoming your fears and showing yourself that you can. Try on more interviews, maybe on the phone. No matter how erratically you answer, you'll know it's a test, you know it won't matter if you mess up, put yourself in more of these situations, but consciously, so you don't fear failure, but rather enjoy it. You can take it with the joy of a kid playing and you will maybe eventually laugh at yourself. And this will maybe take all the stress away.

Believe in yourself, there is nothing you can't do. My best wishes!