When I go out with my friends for lunch or drinking, I feel like I'm obliged to pay, not because I'm rich but it weighs down on my conscience forever if I don't. The reason I say this is because is that an older kid gave me 5 bucks, six years ago for 'helping' him (I saved his backside at school by lying that he was my friend, and I felt threatened by him too). I gave his 5 bucks away to someone else in need and never asked it back. I never saw this guy or the guy that gave me the money again.

I have a friend that is very close to me, he's probably the only person on this planet that understands me, he's rich, he often admits that his father has more money than needed. I don't really think that matters. After we're done drinking or eating, and when the bill arrives to the table, it usually results in an argument between the both of us, since I'm not very headstrong, and I'm not really into 'taking charge', he wins the argument easily, and ends up paying. It makes me feel weird, almost ruins the whole time we spend together.

I do pay sometimes, though, but that's only when he's short of cash or has to whip out his debit card, and I usually jump at the chance to 'redeem' myself a little, it makes me feel like a little better.

It's friendship and who ends up paying for a night out doesn't really matter, as long it's one of us that pays, our friendship is very strong, little details shouldn't matter, all that matters is that we got to share our feelings together in private, but I feel like such an idiot, why do I keep track of how much he's spent and how much I have? It's not seemly for me to do that with such a dear friend of mine.

I think I know why and it's been conditioned into me by my mom to never take anyone's help, my mom has always told me never to borrow money from someone else, and If I lend money, I shouldn't expect it back, but I'm NOT borrowing money here, it's a part of friendship.

I do have other friends who NEVER pay though, they just sit back and let me pay, and I'm OK with that, because I feel like I don't owe them anything. I'm pathetic, I know.

[brainhi]

I struggle with this as well. I never like to feel like I "owe" someone. Many times friends will pick up the tab - and many times I ask to pay the tip - them treating me to something nice is wonderful...if they argue - I tell them to let me do it for me

Other times when someone wants to go out.. I know I do not have enough $ I say so upfront. I usually pass on going...and let them know I'd like to do something some other time.

I have learned to be incredibly independent and have real issues asking for help - makes me sick to my stomach. And I cannot hardly wait to pay back them back.

If I ever had to ask for help from my family (I never ever abused this)....it was awful. You were shamed. I'd rather chew off my arm then ask them for $ help.

If I do have extra - I always like to treat those that have been good to me.