[musicformyears]

Hi all,

I have a friend, who I had met during my secondary school days. I used to see her every weekday, in school, even though we were in different classes back then. But, earlier this year, I left for my tertiary education. So I no longer see her physically. We just keep in contact via messaging.

Lately, I have been really, really, really, worried about this same friend. This friend of mine, has her own set of personal issues. And, because of all these issues, she had been pretty negative and sometimes, desperate for help... I constantly fear that something bad might happen to her or she might not be able to cope...or she might feel desperate and really need someone to talk to, but she can't find anyone...

What's worse was that she had not been replying to my texts lately. I have no clue what's going on with her and how is she currently coping. I worry about her...a lot.

How do I cope with this worry? About a few days ago, I told this to another friend of mine, and this other friend said that I shouldn't worry and think too much. The more I worry, the more likely it will happen. I do appreciate what she says, but I just can't stop worrying about this friend of mine...

Call her instead of texting.
If she does not answer, call her again.
If she still does not answer, find her and see her.

That is what I would do.
Best wishes to the both of you

[musicformyears]

Hi allforgood,

Thanks for your advice and well wish...I do appreciate them. I wish you all the best too

You are very welcome, Grace Koh Wan Ying
You have a sweet heart. A sweet heart is the greatest treasure in the Universe

[hvert]

It is very hard to control those feelings, when you are worried about a close friend. I just went through a four day period in a fog, thinking that my friend had done something truly awful. In the end, he was all right and I was annoyed with myself for worrying.

I think you have to assume that your friend is okay, even when you don't hear from her. It's really common not to hear from people who aren't well. However much you worry has no effect on your friend, for good or bad.

Could you establish some sort of relationship with someone who sees your friend on a regular basis, a family member of hers, maybe? Someone who could tell you that your friend is okay?

[musicformyears]

Hello hvert,

Thanks for your advice. I do appreciate it as well.

We used to have this mutual friend. But she wasn't really nice to the both of us(me and my friend who I am worried about). After this mutual friend left to join a popular group of girls (there were initially 3 of us here), the friendship between the two of us(me and that friend who I am worried about) was stronger than before.

Unfortunately, other than this mutual friend we both know, I don't know any other friends who know this friend who I am really worried about. But, thanks, hvert, I learn something new and what you said helped me to ease my worry. Thank you so much.