[unplugmealready]

Why is it that from the minute I wake up to the minute I fall asleep, I just can't stop complaining. It could be, noisy neighbours, my job, my life, my marriage, an idiot driver cutting me up, my wages, bills etc..... The list goes on. I am even complaining about complaining.
How can I stop it and start enjoying life instead of moaning about the trivialities of every day life?

[kaliope]

Abraham Lincoln said when I do good, I feel good. see if you can find a way to see the good in everything. this will take some conscious effort. so even if you complain about something, try to find something positive in it. complain about the neighbors, counter that with something positive about them. complain about the job, think of something positive, negative thought about the marriage, think of something positive. really work on seeing the positive in everything around you. it takes practice but it will get easier and you will see that you will start to feel better. take care.

[unplugmealready]

Originally Posted by kaliope

Abraham Lincoln said when I do good, I feel good. see if you can find a way to see the good in everything. this will take some conscious effort. so even if you complain about something, try to find something positive in it. complain about the neighbors, counter that with something positive about them. complain about the job, think of something positive, negative thought about the marriage, think of something positive. really work on seeing the positive in everything around you. it takes practice but it will get easier and you will see that you will start to feel better. take care.

You're right. I should try to take a positive from a negative. Otherwise I will continue to be labelled as a complainer. I know how much it annoys the people around me and it is a habit I wish to contain.

[Thunder Bow]

You are aware that you are complaining. That means you know you have choices. You get your energy from complaining. I just say go with it. When it comes time to stop complaining, it will happen automatically. With no effort on your part.

[Frankbtl]

Hi unplugmealready, now I'll allow you some complaining
Because complaining can be the start to making positive changes if you use it and follow it through "constructively" e.g. "What can I do to try to change this.........??", "Talk to someone, try to negotiate something..........??", "Do something differently/something more??...........". Complaining doesn't have to be bad.
But for other things..........maybe shift your focus just like kaliope suggested e.g. you misplaced/found your keys...........why focus on the "lost them again........held me up again, why cant things go right, why did I have to go and do that............" why not remember "OK I lost them, but Whayyyyheyyyy found them, pretty smart, right?!!!"
And try to remember to put them somewhere specific next time
The driver who may cut you up..............well firstly everyone makes mistakes, but who knows their circumstances?? Maybe they are really stressed/worried about something, maybe someone close to them has been really ill......a parent........a child, maybe they're really worrying/panicking about losing their job and they have children to support, maybe.............maybe not but then again who knows...........and then you might be a little lighter on them????
And if they're rude after that...............well clearly they have a problem, it doesn't have to be yours.
And the positive as well .........it could have been much worse, you're OK, you're still standing, amazing!!
And in some cases e.g. your marriage...........maybe take some time to reflect on and write down a list of the good things about it??? Sure if there are problems then have a think about some solutions even consult with your husband/wife about finding some solutions, but if you reflect on what you do have/things to work with/"the bigger picture" it might help a bit???
So you know you're complaining, which is great for starters. So maybe step in when you see that's happening and try to use it to your advantage, make a positive out of it, or have a think about excusing factors to what's happening???
Just some thoughts
And hey, allow yourself a rant occasionally if you need to
Doesn't have to be anything wrong with that.........ideally right place, right time........but you're human, hey??
Alison

[unplugmealready]

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Hi unplugmealready, now I'll allow you some complaining
Because complaining can be the start to making positive changes if you use it and follow it through "constructively" e.g. "What can I do to try to change this.........??", "Talk to someone, try to negotiate something..........??", "Do something differently/something more??...........". Complaining doesn't have to be bad.
But for other things..........maybe shift your focus just like kaliope suggested e.g. you misplaced/found your keys...........why focus on the "lost them again........held me up again, why cant things go right, why did I have to go and do that............" why not remember "OK I lost them, but Whayyyyheyyyy found them, pretty smart, right?!!!"
And try to remember to put them somewhere specific next time
The driver who may cut you up..............well firstly everyone makes mistakes, but who knows their circumstances?? Maybe they are really stressed/worried about something, maybe someone close to them has been really ill......a parent........a child, maybe they're really worrying/panicking about losing their job and they have children to support, maybe.............maybe not but then again who knows...........and then you might be a little lighter on them????
And if they're rude after that...............well clearly they have a problem, it doesn't have to be yours.
And the positive as well .........it could have been much worse, you're OK, you're still standing, amazing!!
And in some cases e.g. your marriage...........maybe take some time to reflect on and write down a list of the good things about it??? Sure if there are problems then have a think about some solutions even consult with your husband/wife about finding some solutions, but if you reflect on what you do have/things to work with/"the bigger picture" it might help a bit???
So you know you're complaining, which is great for starters. So maybe step in when you see that's happening and try to use it to your advantage, make a positive out of it, or have a think about excusing factors to what's happening???
Just some thoughts
And hey, allow yourself a rant occasionally if you need to
Doesn't have to be anything wrong with that.........ideally right place, right time........but you're human, hey??
Alison

That's a very well put objective way of looking at the situations, thanks I'll try that too. I never do think of things like the other person's perspective ie the other driver. its just one of those habits that I have gotten into where I know I do it a little too much. far too much. So turning it on its head and creating a positive from it is I suppose a step in the right direction.

[unplugmealready]

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

You are aware that you are complaining. That means you know you have choices. You get your energy from complaining. I just say go with it. When it comes time to stop complaining, it will happen automatically. With no effort on your part.

I agree with this too. We can't always be happy rays of sunshine. Sometimes the world is so tough to deal with that we just need to let it all out.