I always feel anxious

I always feel anxious, and I hate it so much. I know I need help, maybe some close friends but my anxiousness is like whispering negative things like "what if.." stuffs in my head. I'm trying to deal with it by reading biblical or non-biblical quotes about being positive and anxiousness and always hang out with jolly people. I kinda try to avoid those negative people because they make me more think negative about the people around me but I feel sorry for them because I know that they also need help but they are making it a lot worse for me. They're not helping at all. All those negative people do is whine, whine, even about the little things that you shouldn't even worry about.

I think the cause of my anxieties is probably I'm new to school. And also.. my friends. Yeah, because in this new school, like I'm trying to be "popular". I know I shouldn't do it and try to be myself more but I don't know what's gotten into me. I just know that I need to have friends, and with that, I'll be popular and I'll happy and my anxieties will be gone. But I think this situation of being and trying to be with the cool kids make me more anxious. I REALLY NEED TO BE MYSELF. I always say to myself. I kinda.. I don't know. I'm such a mess. I really need help. I don't even know how to express myself properly.

Guys, please help me How do I build my confidence all over again and stay positive? I always search about this on the internet but I need more. I think what I'm trying to find is someone, personally who will listen to me but the "what ifs" in my mind keeps coming. PLEASE HELP.

I have a similar problem. I always feel troubled and anxious, but with me I have searched and I don't know why. It's as if I need to get something off my chest, which would relieve me. I feel condemned like I've done something or am something unforgivable, since I can't place the blame on anything I know. I default and think the worst about myself.

I know what you mean when you say "I'm such a mess. I really need help. I don't even know how to express myself properly."

It's possible we're more similar in other ways too. You say "I REALLY NEED TO BE MYSELF." I've worn masks through my whole life, without really knowing I have. But I'm scared of what's inside me, I feel like I have to keep at bay the evil in me so I don't do something radical. I'm afraid to be myself.

Look deeper than anxiety because anxiety is so powerful that it can cover other underlying issues or disorders. Anxiety was just part of a cycle for me that was being fueled by other disorders and I didn't realize it: chronic irritability, being disconnected and agitation made me dysfunctional and it resulted in avoidance, extreme anxiety and depression. All I knew that I was really feeling was anxiety and it took me yrs to figure out the other problems.

You will never find an answer to this because it does not exist. You cannot be confident by staying positive. Confidence is rooted in realism - being positive helps a bit, but is not necessary. Realism involves acknowledging your worries and sometimes being negative as appropriate. If you stop your pursuit of positivity via biblical and non-biblical quotes and turn your attention to your actual situation - think of what to do, what can be improved, which habits to reinforce and which to break away from, it would be far more helpful and effective than what you have been doing. Because what you have been doing has not been effective - otherwise you'd not be asking for help now - so you need a new approach rather than more of the same (ineffective) stuff. You have tried quotes, have given them your best efforts, they have not helped, so stop trying because you have exhausted this approach.

SNAP CLUB

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html

Yea you said it, you need to be yourself.. If a particular thing is bothering you write down the worst thing(s) that can happen .. it helps me and I hope it helps. Go easy on yourself you have a lot of things on your plate at the moment...

Best wishes

I tried to read though your long SNAP CLUB post. Well thought out, perhaps to well thought out. I could not help but think of a Snapping Turtle. It touched the surface,but does not go deep enough. Feelings are at a deeper level, and are not all that complicated. Cut down on all the reasoning, and see how you feel afterwords.

Just skip down to the two rules of SNAP CLUB and the following post with examples.

It's so simple. Just T R Y I T .

- v

SNAP CLUB helps with coping with depression, while you are healing. Real healing requires CBT on a deep level, learning what the anger is all about. Real healing requires looking within. No can Snap Out of it. There are no quick fix. Healing takes much time.

How do you know any of that?

Also, seriously, I think that this is a real trap that many people fall into. In my experience, it makes no difference at all why you have a particular set of dysfunctional thoughts and feelings or what they are or where they come from. Learning what the anger is all about does not help you to get better.

I think it depends upon a person. It is individual - there is no rule to it. I personally prefer to know the root cause.

I agree, the root cause is important for me. It does not make depression go away. CBT is intense and the T I have is such a compassionate guide. We are learning to untangle and heal and live and learn in a functional healthy practice.
gratefully,
Jade

Now that is the word I did not know I needed but now I do! When you are dealing with a web of complex issues, it truly feels like untangling!

I agree with some of the other posters.
Classical conditioning may have some benefits, but I find it insulting to be told that all I have to do is snap my fingers.....

Anxiety is horrible....rather than asking yourself "what if", you could try saying "what's the worst that could happen?" I find that when I ask myself that, no matter how horrible of a scenario I come up with for an answer, it seems a little less ominous and a lot more manageable.

Just an idea.