[Yismymindblank12]

All I see is my parents self loathing people who only care about themselves. I can't get close to anyone, I make excuses to just cope saying they do. Yeah people think they do from how they treat me. Maybe I'm the crazy one to believe they only care about telling me how worthless I am when I'm not what they like to see in my happiness. I don't know why I cringe when my mom and dad go by me. I don't know why I fear that when my mom comes into my room she only wants to hurt me.

Can't someone tell me should I be dead. I'm too desperate now and I hit myself and punch and smack myself so my parents don't see me being weak. I harm myself a lot and I know I'm going to die someday from me not eating much, because they never wanted to care about me. Only their ****ing tv time and their ****ing time off alone. I mean they are people too, but they don't care about me. My sister didn't and I'm always told tough just suck it up you piece of **** life is never fair to anyone, coming from the people who get a lot in their life and telling me to suck it up. You are getting punch and beaten up and ****ed over a lot and raped by people growing up or having medical issues or you have all these problems tough it up you *****. That's all I hear. Maybe dying to shut everyone up isn't so bad after all. I fear my mom now she's walking past me. I feel like she's always watching me like she is going to strike and ask me what's wrong and then yell at me.

[jelly-bean]

I am so sorry that your home life is so horrible for you. Home and family should be a place of warmth and love especially for a kid. Is there anywhere else that you can go to. Maybe stay with some other relative? You deserve so much better than you are getting. Never doubt that you are a great person and deserve to be loved and cared for. Living in fear is no way for a kid to have to live.