Cannot handle rejection whatsoever

So since the week before Thanksgiving, I have been pretty much blown away from some right in my face rejection. I posted about how my sis called me a few days before T-day and told me she did not want me or my family to come to her house. She said it in a round about way but I got the message. It was not my imagination. It caused us all to have a bad holiday, almost unbearable. Still dealing with that.

So a new 'friend' of mine and I talked yesterday. I called her and we planned to have lunch today. She was to call me at a certain time, that was 4 hours ago. She is working but has never bothered to call me. I am puzzled. I spent a lot of time thinking about cooking lunch for us and taking it to her, I think if I talk to her I will tell her that I did in fact cook a special lunch but she never showed up. I guess I am really hurt. I've been teary eyed all day. Maybe something happened or she forgot, but I doubt that.

I immediately start 'talking' negative to myself, calling myself a stupid idiot, moron, piece of crap and no one would ever want to be my friend. My own sister dumped me after all! I cannot express how much I feel devastated by this and it has consumed my whole day, making it miserable. Seems that no one truly wants to spend any time with me but my son and he no longer brings the grandchildren to visit. I am way too sensitive and emotional to live like this. It makes me truly hate my existence anymore.

Hello ForeverLonelyGirl: I'm so sorry to read of this unfortunate event & how sad it has made you feel. I hope you do have the opportunity to talk with your new friend and learn what happened that she did not show up. I don't know what type of work she does. But, being that it is the holidays, perhaps she had to work overtime unexpectedly & was not able to call, or something of this sort. My best wishes to you...

Have you thought about volunteering at hospitals near you? A woman in my apartment building in her 80's volunteers in the hospital gift shop, and a gf of mine volunteers with a gf of hers who has MS and uses a wheelchair but they distribute magazines in the hospital one day a week. Our local VA hospital i think prefers people to work 2, 4 hour shifts a week and you get a lunch or dinner voucher as well as paid parking. As soon as i can commit to such a schedule, i hope to do so myself. My t encourages it. I attended the VA orientation already.

(((ForeverLonelyGirl)))

What happened to you is not a reflection of your character. You really don't know what happened to her so try to not take this against yourself. She may have very well forgotten. Try to contact her and see what happened.

I have a potential friend who won't return my text messages so maybe it just won't come to fruition. I do have something to do with this. I also forgot to text her back. If this is the way it is going to be then there are others out there who would be better friends for me.

Hi. I can totally relate to how you are feeling. I thought I was the only one who let people ruin my whole day. I have come to the conclusion that I am powerless over people, places and things. People will always disappoint you, even your family. Mine sure does. But I try to focus on what I have to be grateful for right this minute and it sometimes helps. I get easily hurt and rejected also. I am a very sensitive person and I wear my heart on my sleeve. I guess I've had to toughen up just a little in order to keep my sanity and to keep people out of my head. I don't know if this will help you or not. I sure hope so. Take care of yourself.

Still have not heard from my friend. I am truly puzzled! It does not seem like the character of the person that I thought I was getting to know. To say I am disappointed is an understatement. My day was officially ruined, I feel more and more sadness as the day progresses. I've got 7 more hours of being awake probably to feel tortured. This along with the knowledge that I have no christmas gifts bought and no money to buy any until tomorrow. It's all just swirling around in my head.

If I was a normal person I would just try to go to bed early, but due to my chronic sleeplessness, that is impossible! If I were to take something like benadryl to help me sleep, my whole day tomorrow would be ruined because it makes me feel like a big old steaming pile of poo.

I'm just so tired of being miserable, 24/7. So many long days and hours of sadness and loneliness is just torture. See how the whole thing just spiraled? Remind me to never make plans with another human being again. Wow, I am a pathetic drama queen.