[Steiner of Thule]

and it made me realize how nothing has changed about me. It's still such an obvious pain. I hate the new year. Why do I hate it. I know why- can't put it into words though. Maybe drinking is a big thing because most don't like the new year. I'm not drinking though because I don't think drinking is good for what I want to achieve. Which would be some weight loss.

Though lately I feel like giving up. Anyway I guess I can post the old song I had written earlier this year before the new year begins. I'll probably try to sleep through it.

Nobody likes me,
Everybody hates me.
This is my dumb ol' song.

Nobody likes me. Everybody hates me!
Why don't you sing aloooooong!

(Go away! go away!) That's-what-they-all-say!
(Go away! go away! You're a troll anyway!)

Hey! hey! heeeey! what is the point?
What is the point!? Livin on this plane?
(Hey hey heeeey! what is the point? what is the point?!
You're made of disdaaaaaain!)

Cook me! boil me. grill me! broil me.
Aren't I nasty to eat?
(Adrenaline soaked, fear soaked, agony soaked,
makes for the beeeest meeeeat!)

Ohhhhhhhh no!

(Oh dear!)
Ohhhhh no.
(Oh my!)
Ohhhhh no.
(Oh yes.)

Nobody likes me,
Everybody hates me.
This is my dumb ol' song.

Sticking salt..in my wounds!
Why don't you sing alooooong!

Deeper and deeper I fall down stairs
where is the bottom flooooooor?
(Bottom floor! Bottom floor!
Only for those rot to the core!)

Sigh.*

Nooooo rest! No rest! No rest for me I see.
(Train wreck. Car wreck. That is what you be.)
(A fallen empire. A shutdown city!
Fills us with truuue glee!)
Please please turn your gaze awaaaay.
Please please please I am not fileeeeeet!

Test my will. Break my body for I am just a thorn.
Cut off my head, crush my heart for I will be REBOOOORN!

(Cry Cry Cry to us. For-ev-er stuck in glue.)
(Cry cry cry to us! Man For-ev-er trapped in bluuuue!)

Help! Please! Dark-n-ess surrounds my sight!
Help! Please! help me please. Rid me of this Blight!

(Wish we could. Oh wait we don't. You're right where you beloooong.)
(Rub our feet! On your back! This is your dumb ol song!)

Please please don't leave a mark! Please please please I might start to bark.

(Bark bark bark. More like squeak! squeak! squeak!
No need for us to freak.)

(Until you bite you are a joke. Back to the corner with youuuuuu. It's time time time for you to eat more grool!)

*whimper*

(Always ! always ! dark-en-ing your hue.)

(Steiner)

(Steiner)

(Of the Thule.)
.
.
.
.
.

Noooobody likes me.
Everybooody hates me.
This is. my dumb. ol. song.

I dunno.

I feel very angry. Even with meds. I feel like people are lying to me. Like I don't feel like they have the right to feel certain things. It enrages me. I realize now that with meds and stuff that sometimes I may feel good but really should realize that the meds just create a fog. I feel foggy and maybe it's good to feel a fog but really my core hatred is still there I just don't realize it. Lately it's been showing through more and more that anger that I lock inside because I think the fog is lightening up.

[sideblinded]

(((Steiner of Thule)))

I am glad that you didn't drink as you sound so depressed. Can you start talking to your T about anger issues? Maybe this is the start of a good thing. I hope you get some sleep.

[Steiner of Thule]

Originally Posted by sideblinded

(((Steiner of Thule)))

I am glad that you didn't drink as you sound so depressed. Can you start talking to your T about anger issues? Maybe this is the start of a good thing. I hope you get some sleep.

Don't have a therapist. Don't see how talking to a stranger would help. I've seen in the past how it works out. I'm just gonna stop taking these meds I guess since they don't help.

I give up.

[Artchic528]

Hey Thule, join vital's Snap Club. It really works, and it's so easy to do. I hope you feel better soon!!

Oh, here's the link to his thread about Snap Club, in case you don't know what I'm talking about: http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html