[JoeS21]

I think it's fairly common for people to be brutal, mean, unpleasant, unfair, rude, dishonest, etc. on all forums and online. Somehow, that can ruin my day or even a few of my days, where I end up feeling sad, angry, hurt, etc. Has anyone else had this problem? Any tips about what to do about it?

I like forums but I end up really getting hurt too frequently. I admit that I'm on here due to a sensitivity disorder and I am hyper-sensitive. I would like to work on that and trying to afford counseling.

putting the members on ignore is a good start.

where ever you go, what ever forum you go on, their's going to be at least 1 or 2 members out to either make sure you have a rough time, or are just plain bullies.

yes, i've had this problem- it's made me not want to come back on that particular site

1 of my problems is if i ignore a member, i feel like i've ruined the forum and have to unignore them- even if they are the meanest person on the site. (not sure why this is, but that's how it is)

[vital]

Originally Posted by JoeS21

I think it's fairly common for people to be brutal, mean, unpleasant, unfair, rude, dishonest, etc. on all forums and online. Somehow, that can ruin my day or even a few of my days, where I end up feeling sad, angry, hurt, etc. Has anyone else had this problem? Any tips about what to do about it?

I like forums but I end up really getting hurt too frequently. I admit that I'm on here due to a sensitivity disorder and I am hyper-sensitive. I would like to work on that and trying to afford counseling.

Hi Joe,

I think your sensitivity is the same thing that's happening to Loutrem. See my response there:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/copin...bly-angry.html

I also think that when people feel good inside, they really rarely say hurtful things. If someone is saying hurtful things, they are often being hurt a lot themselves. Jerks are often also very sensitive to insults as well.

- vital

[sideblinded]

Hi JoeS21

I do understand what you are saying here. I just happen to be a little sensitive to certain things that are more geared toward animals and when people seem to just be oppositional to what I have to say. I don't mind disagreements at all. I have not encountered anyone on this site to be brutal or mean. I think all sites are unfair in some respects. No one has been rude to me on here. I have been on other websites where they were just as you say ...rude and mean. The good thing about here is that we don't tolerate rude behavior so if you think someone is being rude to you here you can report the post.

I would suggest that you work with a therapist on the sensitivity issue as that may be part of the problem. It is great that you are aware of this and that is a wonderful start to retraining your thought process. People are people and it is impossible to be in agreement all the time but it is possible to look at the situation with a different perspective. I wish you the best.

[Breckman]

Yes i had the problem on a music site,don't go there much anymore.I won't say the name of the site i guess....

[stayingafloat]

Originally Posted by JoeS21

I think it's fairly common for people to be brutal, mean, unpleasant, unfair, rude, dishonest, etc. on all forums and online. Somehow, that can ruin my day or even a few of my days, where I end up feeling sad, angry, hurt, etc. Has anyone else had this problem? Any tips about what to do about it?

I like forums but I end up really getting hurt too frequently. I admit that I'm on here due to a sensitivity disorder and I am hyper-sensitive. I would like to work on that and trying to afford counseling.

Thats something i have been struggling to deal with as well. Any slight hint of rejection in opinion or negative reply(described abv) will result in obsessive anger, paranoia, extreme anxiety. i try to ignore or shut off the source of these feelings though. it is due to these issues that i refrain myself from posting in forums or express my feelings

Originally Posted by Breckman

Yes i had the problem on a music site,don't go there much anymore.I won't say the name of the site i guess....

sorry you're having that problem.

you should see if their's any other music sites you can find.

music's something that i like too, and when i want to post about something- i usually look for forums based on that particular artist or group

only on 1 general music forum (mainly UK members)

[Thunder Bow]

On line bullies are all about control. They control forum members by being mean to them. That is how they control a forum. People will bully others if they think they can get away with it. Having a good sense of self, gives some immunity to bullying.

[BLUEDOVE]

Those who do the bullying are COWARDS!
And about as important as cow dung!

[lkbun14]

Most of us go online like this looking for support, not for rude or unnecessary comments. It's reasonable of you to want to be able to use online forums (like this one) for what they're meant for- connecting with others who have similar issues/concerns. When I read comments that are very honest/rude I often take them very personally. I'm trying to let this go more, as the positive and helpful comments on here have far exceeded anything negative!

[Fuzzybear]

I'm sorry you've been hurt by online bullies :-(
Putting them on ignore is a good start, if that's doable.

[wheredidthepartygo]

one of the things i find helpful is to read through a lot of posts in whichever specific forum you're about to post in (if possible) to get a feel for the regular posters
usually then i can tell the users that may respond to my personality negatively so i either take into account that specific user and write my post so that it's less likely to illicit a response from them
or i just take into account that's them and if they reply to mine negatively then i know that's just cause that's that user and they're like that
not sure if any of that made sense but that's how i manage it (mostly i just lurk and don't post much)
i get so shaky when ppl respond rudely or negatively to my posts

[pegasus]

I would say that Psych Central is a very safe online forum, if anyone feels they are being bullied or getting unsupportive replies then please use the report icon (looks like a triangle) under the person's name and then the moderators will be alerted.

[Mefisto]

I found out that ignoring is much more painful than majority of mean posts. When you create a thread and notice few hundreds of views and zero replies, you realizing that you are so inferior that people don't even bother to type you a small message.

[Bewilderbeest]

Originally Posted by Mefisto

I found out that ignoring is much more painful than majority of mean posts. When you create a thread and notice few hundreds of views and zero replies, you realizing that you are so inferior that people don't even bother to type you a small message.

JUst keep in mind that 'ignoring' your thread, especially here, may simply be because the readers don't have anything meaningful or helpful to add. I know that might not help when you're staring at that "0 replies" and thinking "Really, no one?"

Sometimes people get too close for comfort and in an attempt to fend off that discomfort they attack with words to push people away. That is obvoiusly not the only reason but it does happy.