[Fleury29]

I will give an example of why this hinders me. I am afraid to make mistakes, even when it doesn't matter, and no one or nothing will be hurt by me getting it wrong. I am very good at languages, but this fear has kept me out of using it once or twice that might have been a very cool experience. I'm so afraid of saying something wrong, that often times I just don't say it, even though it actually turns out to be the right thing after all. How do I get myself past this? I'm tired of avoiding things I'm afraid of because I think I will make a mistake. This affects more than just my language learning, it affects a good bit of my life. If I think I will do something wrong possibly, I simply will avoid it, about the only thing I don't mind being wrong, or not succeeding the first time, is in video games.

[gayleggg]

I would think you might try to do it gradually. Like choose one thing that isn't one of the major ones and try to let yourself say it. Try to do one a day and then as you build confidence you can say more.

I often do like you but not to the point that it bothers me yet. So hang in there, you are not alone.

Hi Fleury,

I can relate to a lot of what you wrote. At the same time, I felt incredibly sad that you're not getting to use or enjoy your language skills for fear of making mistakes - when the freedom to make those mistakes is exactly how we learn!

Are you scared that people will make fun of you if you make mistakes? Sure, there are people like that as well out there in the world, but how lame are they! They're probably the ones who never dare take risks because they're afraid of losing face, and then they pretend to be all confident while taking their inability to accept their own vulnerability out on others.

I'm glad you're not one of these people! No, you've identified a problem and are seeking help

In my experience, most people won't correct you when you speak their language that's foreign to you. They're happy as long as they get the meaning. However, since you're interested in learning the language, you could tell them this is your goal and that you'd love it if they could correct you if you make mistakes. You could even say you're afraid of making mistakes but you really want to learn! Just yesterday, I had a talk with my therapist who said that admitting to an emotion immediately takes away half of the power of that emotion while denying it only makes it stronger.

Good luck! I hope you can start to feel better soon!

[BLUEDOVE]

Hi Fluery,
Do you know WHY you have this fear?
I had/have it (to much lesser extent),and I know it
is because my parents would go crazy if I made a
mistake,so I became afraid of mistakes in later life.
The way I reduced it by large amount was reverse
psychology,i.e., to DELIBERATELY make mistakes,and seeing that the world did not crash
around me! I started with writing,something like
ThiS, anD tHis, and when I did make a mistake,I
would score right down whole of page----------------
get it? . You could also not make bed CORRECTLY, wooooo! Not wash 1 arm,not do ironing Correctly, get it? You can make up any
number of things,till mind gets used to catastrophe
of not being perfect.
Kind Regards,
BLUEDOVE

[Fleury29]

Thanks, it's not just in the language department but I think I got some great advice. I think it's possibly that I'm afraid of being made fun of. I get made fun of all the time, and to the point sometimes I wonder if I can do anything right, it really plays on my confidence as well.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Perna]

Were I in your shoes, I would make a game of making mistakes, seeing how many times you can "try" to be wrong? Reward yourself if you are afraid, answer/try whatever and get it wrong! Laugh at being wrong (replacing the fear of being afraid) and keep score, how many times you get it "right" when you think you're right versus how many times you actually get it "wrong". But you have to play to win (Maryland's Lottery slogan) no just doing it inside your head/imagination. Your imagination is what's getting in your way, you imagine what it will be like to be wrong. So, use your imagination to help you instead. You cannot know the future (whether what you say/do will be right or wrong for you/what you want in your life) so give that up and just go with your best guess.

For me, there was a lot beyond the fear, if you do something you are afraid of it can be unfamiliar territory and wholly unpredictable and like being on thin ice, much more scary than just holding back on your head's shoreline. Remind yourself how quickly you can "shut down", your body takes care of you so you can take a chance because if it gets too much your body will shut down. The ones you get "right" will move the borders out further so you have more room and are less afraid. Eventually the rightnesses and your practice/ability taking care of the wrong ones will be greater.

[K2TOG]

I know how you feel. I'm afraid when I make a mistake at work people will think I'm stupid and cannot handle my job. Then I beat myself up when I do make a mistake. I tell myself I am not smart enough or qualified to do my job. It's all a downward spiral. But i try to move and shake off those negative feelings.

[shezbut]

((((Fleury29))))

I can relate a lot.

It is hard to take these steps, just fearing that you know what people are either saying or thinking about you. I held myself back from doing most everything for many years.

As an adult, without friends or family around, I started off in community college taking a course for the heck of it. I did very well & found it very interesting. So, I took more and more courses. I got an A.A. and then transferred to university , and got my B.A. with honors. The very first in my family to go to and graduate college. My Bachelor's degree gave me a feeling of accomplishment and pride.

Just an example ~ hopefully, you can tweak my account however you need to, to fit a thing in your daily life. You can achieve it! If your family wants to be harsh and hurtful, perhaps it's time for you to take a couple of steps back to protect yourself as well.

Very best wishes to you!

[cool09]

Everybody grows up with a fear of rejection which has something to do with being incorrect, inappropriate, etc. sometimes. Some people are damaged by fear/rejection and some people use it to build their confidence and people skills. Your early environment has a lot to do with how you perceive and manage fear and rejection. I watch analysts and guests on the news every night and wonder how they got to the point where they can appear so confident and relaxed (at whatever age they are at). I've performed below satisfactory on several professional jobs and always had fear of something inside or outside of me. Failure is a great motivator and tool to build on. Focus on proving people wrong and it will improve your self-worth and confidence.

Hi,im facing some kind fear of bad choice,what i mean,before i have to take a decision i always have anxiety and overthinking if will make wrong/bad decision and then will dissapoint from this.

This have to do with more important or less important choices,such as while i have to choose a new smartphone,a new pc,to buy something,or what kind of job would like to do,i stuck and fear if will make wrong.

Anyone with same fear to say how overcome it?

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by Sacred Path

Anyone with same fear to say how overcome it?

Look to science of economics - principle of opportunity cost. If you have something, you must give up opportunity for another thing, no matter how much money you have. For example, if you study, you give up free time. You decide which thing you want more. Really there is no right or wrong.

Originally Posted by hankster

You decide which thing you want more. Really there is no right or wrong.

Thats the real case,i fear to decide cause of fear will be a wrong choice with bad results,some kind of decidophobia or similar to this.