just a small rant about my stupidity!...turned into large rant

jf1987 · Mar 19, 2015 at 01:34 PM

What kind of stupid person am I? I am supposed to be making an appointment for wed to have a checkup on my crap gerd/asthma, and am trying to talk myself into speaking with him about my anxiety... To the point... what kind of dummy am I to be nervous about calling to make an appointment??? I mean i have my reasons for being afraid to do many things "normal" people can do, but call in the office? Come on, I SUCK! Since ive been seeing a doc my hubby makes my appt with his, but we can't go together this time bc his work schedule and being home to get our kids off the bus I have to call and reschedule. WTF is my problem. I'm so angry at myself for not handeling things, and yet so disconnected that I'm tired of caring. Trying isn't getting me anywhere, its not giving me the strength and courage I need, it isn't enough!!!!!!!!!

Sorry if I offended anyone..

Crazy Hitch · Mar 20, 2015 at 04:41 AM

Hi jf1987

It's okay.

We can't always predict what will make us nervous.

It doesn't mean that you are "stupid" as you have stated because you felt nervous about phoning.

You've been dealing with some very real issues here and feelings that you are trying to work through.

I get a bit of anxiety phoning to make appointments with my T .... dunno ?

I think that as you work with your T and begin to process these emotions you will feel more in control over these things you think that you currently can't handle.

Take it easy and please be gentle to youself.

jf1987 · Mar 20, 2015 at 07:45 AM

Thank you, again! Its people like you, that show me I'm not the only one struggling with getting everyday things accomplished. I called but we had a bad connection, the receptionist couldn't hear so I hung up. Couldn't get myself to call back, I'm going to try again today.

Mar 20, 2015 at 08:58 AM

hey jf1987, you're not pathetic and you don't suck! you have a genuine condition which makes you anxious - this is not a personality flaw or a weakness.

well done you for calling, I know how big that kind of thing is for someone with anxiety and it's really brave. x

jf1987 · Mar 20, 2015 at 09:26 AM

Thank you for the encouragement!

jf1987 · Mar 20, 2015 at 11:21 AM

Okay, I did it! I have an appt for next week. Please wish me luck! My heart is already pounding with nerves. I hope I can actually face my fears this time!

Thunder Bow · Mar 20, 2015 at 01:52 PM

Anxiety also can be related to excitement, and risk taking. You sound more excited about next week appointment than anxious. You seem to have some healthy feelings in you. Don't hold them back. I can feel your energy, just by reading your posts.

jf1987 · Mar 20, 2015 at 02:05 PM

I am feeling pretty good compared to the past few days. I am excited that I went through with my plan and made an appointment. I feel slightly achieved. Plus I have had so many responses to posts on here, l am amazed how many people really care. I'm hoping I'll keep feeling this way when I get to my appointment next week. Its always then I lose my willpower and courage. Wish me luck!

Mar 22, 2015 at 09:14 AM

Hello jf1987,

I can totally relate to being afraid to do normal things. I myself face the same situation. Sometimes, a simple task/chore like getting groceries becomes a nightmare! Sometimes I do procrastinate on very stupid minor things because they seem too difficult for me! I am now better. Been on meds since beginning of this month and I could feel a positive affect.
Glad you made that appt finally ! please do share the outcome with us !

Stay Strong!

divine1966 · Mar 23, 2015 at 05:07 AM

I am anxious making any phone calls for any reasons. As well as answering the phone. But I always feel better afterwards. Hang in there you are not alone in this struggle.

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just a small rant about my stupidity!...turned into large rant

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jf1987 Member Member Since Mar 2015 Location: kentucky Posts: 39 9 24 hugs given	Mar 20, 2015 at 07:45 AM #3 Thank you, again! Its people like you, that show me I'm not the only one struggling with getting everyday things accomplished. I called but we had a bad connection, the receptionist couldn't hear so I hung up. Couldn't get myself to call back, I'm going to try again today.
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Anonymous100185 Guest Posts: n/a	Mar 20, 2015 at 08:58 AM #4 hey jf1987, you're not pathetic and you don't suck! you have a genuine condition which makes you anxious - this is not a personality flaw or a weakness. well done you for calling, I know how big that kind of thing is for someone with anxiety and it's really brave. x
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jf1987 Member Member Since Mar 2015 Location: kentucky Posts: 39 9 24 hugs given	Mar 20, 2015 at 09:26 AM #5 Thank you for the encouragement!
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jf1987 Member Member Since Mar 2015 Location: kentucky Posts: 39 9 24 hugs given	Mar 20, 2015 at 11:21 AM #6 Okay, I did it! I have an appt for next week. Please wish me luck! My heart is already pounding with nerves. I hope I can actually face my fears this time!
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Thunder Bow Elder Member Since Sep 2012 Location: Arizona Posts: 5,630 11 3 hugs given	Mar 20, 2015 at 01:52 PM #7 Anxiety also can be related to excitement, and risk taking. You sound more excited about next week appointment than anxious. You seem to have some healthy feelings in you. Don't hold them back. I can feel your energy, just by reading your posts.
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divine1966 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2014 Location: US Posts: 22,520 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,280 hugs given	Mar 23, 2015 at 05:07 AM #10 I am anxious making any phone calls for any reasons. As well as answering the phone. But I always feel better afterwards. Hang in there you are not alone in this struggle. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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