[Thefallen97]

Im currently working on some things from my past that happened to me through therapy (The T and I have made, which is good!)
any way, when I was younger I was molested by my cousin, along with a bunch of other people, I was so young I couldn't comprehend much of what was happening to me, I just developed a lot of paranoia because of it. it was so bad that there are pieces of my memory that are so foggy and I can't recall... it scares me to think that I may have been raped... it's like from about ages 6-8 it was all just one large hour (if that makes any sense.) I escaped when our family moved out of the country (sited dad is in the Air Force, now retired) it's strained my relationship with most men, I have a SO now, but that's all I'll let it be, he's great and knows what happened so he respects that... any way fast forward->
I have to go back to my home state because of my grandmothers health for a week or so and now I have to stay with the people who Molested me and when I try to explain to my mom how scared and anxiouse I'm getting she gets mad and really doesn't care, how do I cope with this? I've been loosing sleep because I'm terrified of having to go through that again... also, every time I've had to visit there, that same cousin try's to isolate me in his room but I've always ran or I always stay near a knife or something like that.
I'm really scared... I'll propably call my therapist tomorrow or something, but still.... (sorry for any spelling mistakes)

[CANDC]

I am so sorry you were abused as a child. No one should have to go through that. And to be confronted with that again is more than you may want to endure. Your mother is also abusive in the way she is responding to your concern. Why doesn't your mother go take care of your grandmother?

I am quite emotional about this because I was abused, but not in the same way, more mental and emotional. I have limits that I have set. I feel you are putting yourself at risk of being hurt again and should discuss this with your therapist that knows your situation better.

You don't have to answer these questions in the forum but they might be worth answering with your therapist.

Do you really have to go back there or are you fulfilling some family obligation? Why doesn't the former abuser care for the grandmother?

Do your parents have control of your life or are you doing this to be a good person? Why doesn't your mother go take care of your grandmother?

If you ask me, unless I felt strong enough to meet my abuser, and i had a VERY good reason to do it, I would hesitate and postpone as long as possible.

If you ask your therapist if you are strong enough for that, that is one way to justify going. But having a safety plan is important. A weapon can be dangerous to you. Using a weapon is not advised unless you have training in hand to hand combat or martial arts. Some women prefer mace or other non lethal methods that could be easier to use and less likely to damage the user.

Never being alone with your cousin would be one of the conditions for me to visit. I think maybe this whole situation might be more than a reasonable person would ask of you.

Please be safe.

[pegasus]

If you have to go back for your Grandmother, please do NOT stay with your past abuser. You need to be safe.

[inlove84]

I'm sorry this happened to you Thefallen,

Do your parents believe that what you say is true? You need to focus on yourself and do what you need to get better. Definitely talk to your therapist about this.

[avlady]

does anyone else know about this past abuse?

[Iamalioness]

I really don't like the idea of you staying with your abuser! I think it's horrible! Is it really necessary? Sorry, i'm feeling protective because I went through the same thing as a child. You need to feel safe and secure in what you're doing. You definitely don't need to be re-traumatized (and I mean just from seeing the abusers). But it also sounds like your abuser hasn't changed if they've tried to corner you in their room since. This is really not a good situation for you. Do everything you can to stay safe. Be kind to yourself.

Hi. Glad to hear from another military brat..army brat here. Know u are not that little kid any more. U r a strong adult who can protect that scared little one inside from any evil cousin or anything else including an ignorant mother. You don't need her or anyone elses help. U r bigger + braver than them. After all u survived them already. If u can avoid going into harm's way better yet. But if u can't...well, I feel sorry for them. U r not going to be their victim again. They better not try anything cuz u can handle it. We military brats r strong people.

Hi. Glad to hear from another military brat..army brat here. Know u are not that little kid any more. U r a strong adult who can protect that scared little one inside from any evil cousin or anything else including an ignorant mother. You don't need her or anyone elses help. U r bigger + braver than them. After all u survived them already. I u can avoid going into harm's way better yet. But if u can't...well, I feel sorry for them. U r not going to be their victim again. They better not try anything cuz u can handle it. We military brats r strong people.