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Steiner of Thule
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Default Jun 06, 2015 at 12:18 AM
  #1
I tried very hard and deluded myself for a girl online. I thought we had a thing going. We didn't . Though now I appreciate the idea of being alone forever. Another one of those moments I guess. Now I can feel like an idiot thinking I had a girl who loved me. How foolish of me. I am glad I decided to test it though. Was glad I didn't let myself get dragged along. I'm not really hurt by it just more about how stupid I was and I KNEW I was being stupid.

What a mess.

I tried to get her to tell me no the moment this all came out between us. She wouldn't say it. She gave me reasons why an internet thing wouldn't work. This and that. I asked her to tell me no and she wouldn't say it.

I finally got her to say it though. I can finally put this to rest. She dragged me along. I mean she could've said SOMETHING to let me know. Didn't let me know when I suggested her moving in. Didn't tell me no when I told her I liked her a lot over and over. The very heavy flirting.

...

This makes things easier.

I give up on internet women I think. I wish she would have just told me no. I literally begged her to when this all started.

Glad she finally did and I can let this dream die.

I hope she doesn't actually expect me to try and keep contact on a daily basis anymore/ stay up late for her sleep schedule. I'll still be her friend but I won't bend myself over now. Can not believe how good I feel now because of it.

This is freedom. If she doesn't want to accept this I will simply unfriend and move on. People think I'm sick because of how easily I can rewire and move on. I do too. Though it's handy.

I'll still always remember my first internet love which I ruined because I was so shallow. The one before this one. That one was a turning point for me in killing my emotions.

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Last edited by Steiner of Thule; Jun 06, 2015 at 01:27 AM..
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Default Jun 06, 2015 at 01:24 AM
  #2
You pushed her away by trying to force what YOU want upon her.

The internet is only good to initially meet someone. There must be a definite possibility in the near future for two who meet on the internet to get together physically.

You moved way too fast with this person.

Also, Know that just because two people love each other it does not mean that they are COMPATIBLE to live together and make a life together.

Take things slow...
Never give ultimatums or push people to make obligations.
Never try to force what YOU want.
If you love someone, you will be concerned with what THEY want.

Focus on building a long term friendship before you focus on a long term committed co-habitating relationship.

Life is a learning experience.
You will be ok

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Default Jun 06, 2015 at 01:27 AM
  #3
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Originally Posted by Indefatigable View Post
You pushed her away by trying to force what YOU want upon her.

The internet is only good to initially meet someone. There must be a definite possibility in the near future for two who meet on the internet to get together physically.

You moved way too fast with this person.

Also, Know that just because two people love each other it does not mean that they are COMPATIBLE to live together and make a life together.

Take things slow...
Never give ultimatums or push people to make obligations.
Never try to force what YOU want.
If you love someone, you will be concerned with what THEY want.

Focus on building a long term friendship before you focus on a long term committed co-habituating relationship.

Life is a learning experience.
You will be ok


Nah I didn't push her away. She said no from the start pretty much but wouldn't give me a direct answer. I pretty much begged her from the start to tell me no if she didn't want it.

Then she sort of dragged me along for a bit. I didn't give her an ultimatum. I'm still talking to her in chat as friends right now. In fact she thought she had told me no the whole time. I just won't bend-over to meet up with her chat schedule. I feel almost done with all women at this point. Everything and everyone is a game. I did move too fast. Though I felt I had to go fast if it was going to work at all. The reason I suggested moving in was so that we could meet and just save the trouble.

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Default Jun 06, 2015 at 01:41 AM
  #4
We all try our best.
When we know better, we will do better.

Who knows what's around the bend?

Be Well
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Default Jun 06, 2015 at 02:05 AM
  #5
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Originally Posted by Indefatigable View Post
We all try our best.
When we know better, we will do better.

Who knows what's around the bend?

Be Well
I'll just be MGTOW like I was thinkin i would be.

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Default Jun 06, 2015 at 02:45 AM
  #6
We always go our own way.
Sometimes we go with others.
People come and go as we cross each other's path.
Sometimes we meet and walk together for a while.

Any meaningful connection, no matter how long it lasts, is a precious gift!

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Default Jun 06, 2015 at 04:37 AM
  #7
just consider this as a lost relationship now and get on with your life, live, learn and love.
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Default Jun 06, 2015 at 11:55 AM
  #8
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Originally Posted by avlady View Post
just consider this as a lost relationship now and get on with your life, live, learn and love.
Perhaps so

Quote:
Originally Posted by Indefatigable View Post
We always go our own way.
Sometimes we go with others.
People come and go as we cross each other's path.
Sometimes we meet and walk together for a while.

Any meaningful connection, no matter how long it lasts, is a precious gift!

I guess. Kind of feels more like a giant kick in the sac tbh. Twice in 1 week by two different girls, it's like a record or something.

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Default Jun 06, 2015 at 12:44 PM
  #9
Quote:
I tried to get her to tell me no the moment this all came out between us. She wouldn't say it. She gave me reasons why an internet thing wouldn't work. This and that. I asked her to tell me no and she wouldn't say it.
She was telling you NO....you just refused to hear it unless it was with the specific word NO.....that's why she thought she was telling you NO all along. Some people have difficulty hearing & understanding what those subtle NO statements are really saying & the desire to read more into a relationship doesn't help either.

Sounds like You never had the relationship that you thought you had & some girls are just used to hearing those LINES that guys give about moving in & know it's meaningless so they just blow it off.

Internet relationships are only to meet, but not meant to be the permanent way of growing & knowing the other person because to much can be hidden even when you think the other person is being open. You can't see body language, you can't see how they interact in every day situations that are really the true test of what someone is REALLY like & whether they are worth wasting your time on getting to know better.....only then can anyone have some sort of foundation to grow a relationship from.

Being infatuatuated with someone & wishing for a relationship with them has NOTHING to do with REALITY.

You might be better staying away from internet relationships if you are only going to allow yourself to see them as more than what they are & allow yourself to get hurt after the person has been open with you from the beginning anyway.

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Default Jun 06, 2015 at 01:09 PM
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Originally Posted by eskielover View Post
She was telling you NO....you just refused to hear it unless it was with the specific word NO.....that's why she thought she was telling you NO all along. Some people have difficulty hearing & understanding what those subtle NO statements are really saying & the desire to read more into a relationship doesn't help either.

Sounds like You never had the relationship that you thought you had & some girls are just used to hearing those LINES that guys give about moving in & know it's meaningless so they just blow it off.

Internet relationships are only to meet, but not meant to be the permanent way of growing & knowing the other person because to much can be hidden even when you think the other person is being open. You can't see body language, you can't see how they interact in every day situations that are really the true test of what someone is REALLY like & whether they are worth wasting your time on getting to know better.....only then can anyone have some sort of foundation to grow a relationship from.

Being infatuatuated with someone & wishing for a relationship with them has NOTHING to do with REALITY.

You might be better staying away from internet relationships if you are only going to allow yourself to see them as more than what they are & allow yourself to get hurt after the person has been open with you from the beginning anyway.
That's the thing is I wanted her to tell me no. I mean she kept saying everything but no. I know I was being deluded and trying for something that wasn't there to begin with. I just wish she would have given me a straight up answer like I asked her to begin with. Don't see how that is my fault when I asked her for a straight up, yes or no, and she avoided either yes or no. I had plans for us to get together too. I mean the heavy flirting for a week after that did not help. She was flirting with me. She was dragging me along.

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Heart Jun 06, 2015 at 01:33 PM
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I agree with whoever said never "push" people to "give" more than they are comfortable with....

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Default Jun 08, 2015 at 06:17 PM
  #12
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She said no from the start pretty much but wouldn't give me a direct answer. ........
I wanted her to tell me no. I mean she kept saying everything but no. I know I was being deluded and trying for something that wasn't there to begin with. I just wish she would have given me a straight up answer like I asked her to begin with.
People don't always give us the answer we want in the way we want it....you said initially that she was saying no from the beginning....it was YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to hear what she was saying & to understand what she was telling you.....you did....but you refused unless she said it exactly the way you wanted to hear it.....That's NOT the way the world works. It's your responsibility to hear what people tell you even if it's not exactly using the words you are trying to FORCE them to say.

Maybe with that heavy flirting she was trying to get even with you for not listening to her in the first place?.....Just a thought.

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Default Jun 08, 2015 at 08:39 PM
  #13
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Originally Posted by eskielover View Post
People don't always give us the answer we want in the way we want it....you said initially that she was saying no from the beginning....it was YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to hear what she was saying & to understand what she was telling you.....you did....but you refused unless she said it exactly the way you wanted to hear it.....That's NOT the way the world works. It's your responsibility to hear what people tell you even if it's not exactly using the words you are trying to FORCE them to say.

Maybe with that heavy flirting she was trying to get even with you for not listening to her in the first place?.....Just a thought.
Nope, she is just a horny creature. The entire 2 years I've known her she has enjoyed flirting with me online. I wasn't the only one who thought we had something. I mean I didn't have the balls to tell her how I was feeling (deepdeepinside) until someone else told me "0h you should ask her out." It's whatever. Everyone here will just try to tell me I was acting like a rapist or something trying to force myself onto her when that wasn't how it was. It's such a trend on this forum how no matter what I do the woman is always in the right and me (the guy) is always in the wrong. Why does it seem to be that way here?

I'm still nice towards her anyway but now she is very cold and acting like a ***** towards me atm.

Saying "Ah I don't know about a LDR" isn't saying no. I wanted her to say no from the start because I knew if she didn't I was gonna get hopelessly lost. Asking for a straight answer- don't see how that is wrong of me/ forcing myself upon her.

This is why a few other users have left this forum. All men because of this ****.

Also she was not saying no to us. She was saying no to LDRs. That was why I was suggesting moving in together so quickly to get over that LDR hump. Whatever. I don't hate her for saying no. I actually WANTED her to say no. All she had to do was say no.

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Last edited by Steiner of Thule; Jun 09, 2015 at 12:04 AM..
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Default Jun 09, 2015 at 07:14 AM
  #14
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Originally Posted by eskielover View Post
People don't always give us the answer we want in the way we want it....you said initially that she was saying no from the beginning....it was YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to hear what she was saying & to understand what she was telling you.....you did....but you refused unless she said it exactly the way you wanted to hear it.....That's NOT the way the world works. It's your responsibility to hear what people tell you even if it's not exactly using the words you are trying to FORCE them to say.

Maybe with that heavy flirting she was trying to get even with you for not listening to her in the first place?.....Just a thought.
Well I guess you were right.

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