[indigo1015]

I feel horrible this morning, very sad and ashamed and lonely. I am really tired, my sleep for the past year has been awful, and I'm really concerned about it but I don't know what to do. I sleep intensely for very short intervals, and then I wake up and can't get back to sleep for several hours. I'm very stressed about my eating disorder as well-- I know I am still not eating enough (which may also contribute to my sleep issues), but I am terrified of eating more because my nutritionist has told me to temporarily reduce the number of days I work out, and I am scared of gaining weight again. The shame and hate I feel towards myself already is unbearable. I hate everything about myself. I feel huge and revolting and miserable. I will be getting my bloodwork done on Monday, and I'm still very scared about that. It's because doctors and people are such asswipes-- I feel like I can't win, like I'm damned if I do eat (I will gain weight and they will treat me like they did before) and I am damned if I don't (I will continue to suffer). Why are people such ****in dicks-- I would be fine if people would just leave me alone, if they wouldn't be so rude as to comment or stick their noses in other peoples' business. I still feel lonely, still depressed. I just wish I could love myself, but I have tried and I must be unlovable n their extreme since I can't seem to do it. I don't want to go in to work today, but I need the money. More dealing with *****y customers about their ****in meds.

[divine1966]

I am so very sorry you feel this way. My sleep is terrible too especially in the summer. Just awful. I wake up like every hour.
You are lovable, we all are.
Are you in therapy. That might be helpful

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[indigo1015]

Thank you divine, I would like to be lovable... yes I am currently in therapy, it's been a bit sporadic lately but I'm hoping to get back into a more consistent shedule.