[dysphoricspirit]

How do you deal with the naysayers? How do you deal with people that underestimate you? How do you deal with people that have to bring you down to feel better about themselves? How do you deal with inconsiderate friends who constantly make fun of your appearance? How do you deal with a family that doesn't understand you?

How do you learn to accept the fact that you can't go back in time and undo the mistakes you've done?

What's the point of fighting depression? Is it just survival? Am I going to have to do this for the rest of my life until my inevitable death? I don't feel like I'm living, I'm just existing. I'm just putting up with life because I don't want to kill myself.

I'm tired of living up to other peoples' expectations. My close-minded mother that I can never seem to please. Why doesn't she just leave me alone and accept the fact that I'm not the kind of son she wanted?

I'm not weak, I'm strong. After this rant, I'll probably take some time to cool off and be normal again. By normal i mean, i'll be back to faking happiness, living up to other peoples' expectations, not knowing what the purpose of my existence is?

I'm just tired of being strong, Life won't give me a break.

[CANDC]

My way to deal with naysayers is to only talk with them when I need to talk to them and only about what I need to talk to them about. I self disclose info on Psych Central where people are supportive and non judgmental.

The point for me of fighting depression is to raise my self esteem to the point of believing that I did my best. I will not accept less than that for me. Depression may be a lifelong struggle or you may find a way out. Only by not giving up can we hold hope of a lessening.

Living my own dreams is a difficult challenge. One of them is to be here on Psych Central. Finding out my dreams and who I want to be is a lifelong challenge. I don't tell the naysayers what my dreams are. They would only try to discourage me. Tell them only what they need to know.

Hang in there. Be strong, help others, and iin helping others your load will be lifted.

Besides being an active participant in helping oneself at Psych Cental, many people also help support each other by replying to other people's posts. Many people who are actively involved in Psych Central find it helps take them out of their own problems to develop empathy for others. And their problems are more manageable the more they help others.

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

[dysphoricspirit]

Thank you for replying. That's how I do it too, but sometimes I break. I'll try to be more supportive here, maybe that will help me deal with my own problems.

[Thunder Bow]

Living up to other expectations will lead to more bullying. Bullying is all about control. Your mothers comments are probably rooted in her own insecurity, and probably has nothing to do with you personally. On some level you are still important to her. One can never live up to others expectations, that is impossible.

[dysphoricspirit]

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

Living up to other expectations will lead to more bullying. Bullying is all about control. Your mothers comments are probably rooted in her own insecurity, and probably has nothing to do with you personally. On some level you are still important to her. One can never live up to others expectations, that is impossible.

Thank you. I am trying to accept the the fact that I cannot please everyone I know and still feel like I'm my own person.

[*Laurie*]

Without exception, everything everyone says about you is about themselves, not about you. Sounds cliche, and people say it off-the-cuff, but the truth is right there.

I focus exclusively on the positive. I disregard negative people. I determine what my goal is, what I need to do to achieve my goal, execute.

Negative people are not in the equation.

[Smileonmyface]

when you described your "close minded mother" boy i could relate to that. i could have written that about mine. i agree with others about disclosing info about yourself in a safe place like this but only giving the naysayers the minimal information. that is something i have to remember myself.

[dysphoricspirit]

Originally Posted by LauraBeth

Without exception, everything everyone says about you is about themselves, not about you. Sounds cliche, and people say it off-the-cuff, but the truth is right there.

Thanks, I quietly try to deflect or ignore what they say, without pointing it out to them.

[dysphoricspirit]

Originally Posted by kindness

I focus exclusively on the positive. I disregard negative people. I determine what my goal is, what I need to do to achieve my goal, execute.

Negative people are not in the equation.

Thank you, I'll try to do that too. I think I'm giving negative people some power by letting them get to me.

[dysphoricspirit]

Originally Posted by Smileonmyface

when you described your "close minded mother" boy i could relate to that. i could have written that about mine. i agree with others about disclosing info about yourself in a safe place like this but only giving the naysayers the minimal information. that is something i have to remember myself.

Thanks you for your reply, I try not to talk to naysayers too much, I do differentiate between friends who are naysayers, and friends who have constructive criticism or suggestions to offer, but most are naysayers looking to bring me down to their level, trying to make me say something negative about them in return, but I won't.

[xiare]

Are you feeling their emotions, or your own?

[psyco123]

u dont have to make naysayers part of u.
second try to think whether its ur own thinking that makes u feel and see others in that way.... try to justify

[xiare]

Reverse their pronouns: https://www.psychopathfree.com/archi...hp/t-5079.html

[Fuzzybear]

[vital]

Originally Posted by dysphoricspirit

How do you deal with the naysayers? How do you deal with people that underestimate you? How do you deal with people that have to bring you down to feel better about themselves? How do you deal with inconsiderate friends who constantly make fun of your appearance? How do you deal with a family that doesn't understand you?

How do you learn to accept the fact that you can't go back in time and undo the mistakes you've done?

What's the point of fighting depression? Is it just survival? Am I going to have to do this for the rest of my life until my inevitable death? I don't feel like I'm living, I'm just existing. I'm just putting up with life because I don't want to kill myself.

I'm tired of living up to other peoples' expectations. My close-minded mother that I can never seem to please. Why doesn't she just leave me alone and accept the fact that I'm not the kind of son she wanted?

I'm not weak, I'm strong. After this rant, I'll probably take some time to cool off and be normal again. By normal i mean, i'll be back to faking happiness, living up to other peoples' expectations, not knowing what the purpose of my existence is?

I'm just tired of being strong, Life won't give me a break.

Hi dysphoric,

I used to have a lot of trouble with this until I realized what was going on. You might find these notes to be helpful

http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB...0164151576.pdf

- vital