I'm constantly worried and scared that people will laugh/are laughing at me whenever I'm in their company.. Or that they will hate me. This is making my life hell! I've been on sick leave for three and a half months due to Irritable Bowel Syndrome and social phobia, but I have to start looking for a job in a couple of weeks.. I don't know how I'll be able to hack it since I get awful stomach upset whenever I have to socialize..

I'm ashamed of my body. I'm ashamed that it has needs.. I think it's because my dad always hated having to meet my needs. I can't really remember but I think he might even have left me uncared for. My mum was the only one who did meet some of my physical needs. So now I'm scared and ashamed of them.. I can't imagine anyone liking me ever.

I am constantly running a negative commentary in my head about what people will think of me and worry I will do something wrong.

I have never been able to get rid of it. Sometimes it is worse than others. Sometimes I just can't cope. But, there are other times I AM able to win out. Those times are generally when I'm not alone.