[Irealltdonotcare]

There are times where I feel really bad, as in down and sad etc. and I know that I'm not great at hiding it (I can't think of many times when my closest friends haven't noticed) but I've noticed that whenever I am feeling this way at home my parents can tell that something is different. But the thing is that they don't ask what's up or anything like that. My dad just makes fun of everything I do and laughs at me and my mum just calls me grumpy or grouchy. This just sort of kills me inside a little bit and I generally just walk away, hide in my bedroom and cry for a bit, but I don't know what else I can do. As a result of this I tend to hate going home because I know that I'll be made fun of for any negative emotion that I happen to have, and obviously this all just makes me feel worse.

Any ideas of what to do? I feel like I could do with some help on this one, thanks in advance.

[vonmoxie]

I grew up in a fairly similar situation.. I just spent as much time away from the house as I could, mostly in the library, and at one point I got a bicycle which was a great freedom for me .. I ended up with the fittest legs in town, mostly because I couldn't stand to be at my house, and rode all over town, all over the county, in every last bit of my spare time.

Are there safe places you can spend more time, to minimize your exposure to them? Activities you can sign up for? Because they may not be capable of changing, and I wouldn't necessarily recommend trying to get them to as it could actually make it worse and really frustrate you. However, if you think they might be capable, if you think they might just not realize how their behavior is affecting you, maybe you could request a face-to-face with them, ask for 15 minutes of their time and have a heart to heart? Good luck.

[Thunder Bow]

You parents are very immature and afraid of their own feelings. Remember their immature comments have nothing to do with you personally.

[IrisBloom]

Just because you become a parent doesn't mean you know and understand all. I would think their way of reacting is only them trying to deal with, help, and understand what is going on with you. (As long as they are not being abusive or mean.) It is normal for parents to be in denial about things they don't understand. Maybe you could try to talk to them and help them understand what you are going through? Look up some articles they can read about your condition.

IRealltDoNotCare - are you under medical/psychiatric care? If the answer is no, please seek it out. Your family doctor is a great place to start. If yes, take your parents to one of your sessions. Find out if there is a support group for family of people with mood disorders or other such mental illnesses. We encourage people to bring their friends and family to our support group. It benefits everyone.

Parents of young - and mature - persons with mental health battles can often behave the way your are describing. It in fact may NOT be that they don't care but rather a nervousness and lack of ability to offer support. Do you feel comfortable having a 'sit down' with mom and dad? A converstaion where you can tell them what they can expect from you but what can you in turn expect from them?

[IceCreamKid]

Your parents may be uncomfortable with displaying emotions. They may also feel some sense of responsibility if their children are unhappy.

You might try giving them the benefit of a doubt and the next time one or the other of them pulls that "You're grouchy" routine, look them in the eye and say "Does it seem that way? I'm actually feeling sad about [whatever it is] and I'd like to talk to someone about it. If you don't know why you are sad you can just say "…I'm feeling sad and your making fun of me makes it worse."

They'll either offer support, gawp at you in stunned silence or re-double their efforts to shame/jeer you out of your mood. Once you see how they react you'll know whether they are the appropriate people to go to for direct emotional support. If they can't support you emotionally, you can find others who will; either a counselor, trusted friend or other relative.

[ConflagrationInTheN]

When you do feel this way, and your friends notice, do you talk to them about how you're feeling?

Sometimes talking about what's going on with you with others (who truly care for you) can make you feel understood, listened to, cared for, and relieved. And in that situation, despite how you were feeling before, you make feel like you accomplished something. (<--- that's super important. Helps avoid feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, no control over your situation or what goes on around you. Please, one sentence about your pain to one person can help you with these overwhelming feelings.)

If your friends then know about your struggles, maybe with them you can discuss your problems with your parents. (Text, email, or whatever to vent right when it happens) Maybe they can relate, or validate your emotions.

Just because you're feeling something other than happy and okay doesn't mean those feelings are bad. I feel like "grouchy" , "grumpy" , and towards me with my own family "being in a bad mood" are phrases that are associated with a negativity that makes us feel like it's our fault for not being "in a good mood" or a happy place.

I highly suggest considering discussing this discomfort with your parents, if they can receive comments about their actions in relation to how you feel and create a change. I wouldn't want you to voice how they make you feel (worse) and them take it personally and lash back out at you. But don't let this possibility discourage you.

There are different ways to learn how to live with your parents, and have them understand how you feel. Even though it is a tug and pull relationship, that is really really really rough sometimes. Really. I understand. I am right there with you on all my parents not understanding me & my feelings and in result, making me feel worse. Feel free to PM me about any of the details or more support if you'd like or if it'd help at all. I want you to be okay, even if your parents can't be the ones to help you rn.

So, some of your efforts might work, and make you feel better. Others might not. Trial and error. Consider which ones are worth sticking through. (A perspective from a trusted adult, relative, teacher, and especially certified medical health officials can guide you on your path.) Sometimes we give up on something, when it could've been good for us. Remember that anything with mental health is a long road to recovery, so stay with it. Believe in the future.

But the main focus is you being able to be comfortable with your emotions. You being able to be emotionally supported by your parents or friends or therapist and in result BE OKAY.

To everyone reading, we've all made the step of coming here. (It took bravery or pain to admit what's going on with ourselves. And to seek help.) And now you're here on a website that discusses the serious issues you may face and fear. Of possibly participating in a community where you have a voice. I think that's a pretty amazing thing, the trying, and I don't wanna get awkward but I congratulate you on this. Good job. Take pride in the steps you make through the day, you don't know where they'll lead you but in the future when you look back, you'll know you did something great. Because you survived and you tried, and maybe you got to enjoy a moment of your day. Live for those moments, if you're having trouble today.

[RoseTiger]

Irealltdonotcare,

My parents are very much the same way, with me and now also with my younger sister. We are in a lot of ways the same, and I usually understand how she's feeling because I've been there too

My parents, like yours, don't know how to handle it. My dad will tease and make fun, my mom will tell us how miserable we look and ask us if we're really "that" unhappy. As a result I turned to hiding in my room quite often for years, and now so does my little sister "Ann". Since I've been doing it longer then her, I realize that this habit of hiding is not a healthy way of handling the situation, and I recommend not doing it. It has really destroyed my mental state in ways I never anticipated. I can hardly have a conversation with my family anymore.

If something or things are bothering you, instead of waiting for your parents to ask, I would suggest telling them. If you can't bring yourself to do that for whatever reason, then talk to a friend, family member, school councilor, or anyone you trust and tell them what you are feeling. If you can stop whatever is making you feel so down in the first place, than you won't have to worry about the issue with your parents.

At the same time, perhaps telling your parents how you feel about what they say will make them stop. I don't think my parents mean any harm when they say the things they do, and maybe your parents don't either. It is possible that they simply don't know that something is bothering you and aren't sure how to handle it. No loving parent likes to see their child unhappy, and they might just be trying to make you look happier, not realizing there is an actually problem and the way they are acting is not helping, but making it worse.

If talking to your parents doesn't help, like in my case, then I recommend going to someone you trust with whatever is getting you down. Just talking to someone in itself may help you feel better, which would result in you looking happier around your parents.

And remember, "Don't ever let anyone (or anything) dull your sparkle."

Whether it's whatever that is getting you down from day to day or your parents response to it, never let that steal your joy. Life is full of good moments and bad moments, and usually there are more bad moments than good ones.

That's why it's so important to always find the good, hold onto it, and always believe that more will come your way

I was once told that you are in charge of how you feel, but I don't believe that's necessarily true. When your parents say things that hurt your feelings, you can't help but be sad. But I do believe that we can overcome how we feel about things by getting a new perspective, and not focusing on the negative.

I hope this helped and if you ever want to talk, message me.

Love you!