[TryingToMoveForward]

The intensity and recklessness of the last few days went away. I'm drained, listless and irritable. All under control, but my thoughts are everywhere when I'm feeling down.

Whether I actually do this or not, I feel like I over share, or vent too much, to friends and push them away. People get tired of me. Its not something I mean to do, but I think I become a bit too much for people to handle due to my never ending growing list of problems. I try to talk about other things, but my head right now isn't right. Literally. There's something neurologically wrong and I get an EEG on Feb 6. The problems caused by this neurological activity have been pretty profound at times. I'm very scared. That's all I'm trying to say when I vent. A supervisor commented that I seem calmer now, and I was like, "Well. The seizure-like symptoms went away. So my life is more normal. Of course I'm calm." Who wouldn't lose it a bit if they were having what appeared to be focal seizures up to 4 times a day? And no one seemed to know what was wrong with you?

I'm scared. Concerned. Although the episodes went away. There's still weird activity going on in my brain.

And pushing people away by me trying to reach out just really sucks. My life being nothing but problems makes it hard to think of things that aren't my problems. It makes me sad...I'd like to dedicate mental space to other things.