[fijiisland]

I just read about emotional abuse and now I KNOW I was emotionally abused by my parents, especially my father.

I have all the symptoms. I suffer from severe social anxiety, depression, panic attacks, VERY low self esteem etc. I had to move back in with parents after a divorce and I am getting worse. I don't have any friends anymore, I have no interests, I feel extreme loneliness.

I feel as if I am always being watched, from window, when driving down the street. I cant even go into kitchen and make food without worrying if they are coming in kitchen to yell at me about something. I just tense up all day around them. We don't talk to each other either. They give me evil looks when I pass by. If I drop spoon, I am yelled at and accused of breaking things. They are always right and can do no wrong. I can do nothing right and was taught that everything is bad and wrong

Problem is now I am emotionally abusive to my kids. I have no support. I have always been alone and frustrated. And its funny how my kids treat me with no respect which makes me more abusive. And they treat me like that because they see my parents treat me like that. I am in my 40's and have been sent to my room by my parents!! why??? Because I tried to discipline my kids by taking their electronic toys away. The kids started screaming. So I was sent to my room, yelled at in front of my kids, and they were given their toys back when I wasn't looking!!!!!

[nicoleflynn]

knowing you have a problem is the first step. I hope you will seek help from a professional...children who grow up abused quite often become abusers or marry and abuser;so the cycle continues. You can break that cycle. The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my live. Another excellent resource is "Boundaries' by Townsend and Cloud.

I would limit the time spent with your parents. They aren't going to stop being abusive and undermining your authority.

[Fuzzybear]