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#1
May 29, 2016, 03:08 PM
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I find it really difficult since my relationship ended in January to find peace in being single again. I'm an emotional guy, supportive and reliable, but she left me for someone that is not any of those things. I am starting to wonder if I went about things incorrectly and being a "good guy" is just not good enough. In my hurt mental part, I feel like if I don't change something radical about myself, I will just have a repeat of my failed love affair. I did everything and she still rejected me; how do I reconcile this? Hard for me to not pick myself apart and wonder if I had done this right, or that differently, if things could have been saved. I guess I'm still hung up on her.
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 Anonymous59898
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#2
May 29, 2016, 03:30 PM
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It's natural to look back and wonder what you could have done differently, this is how we learn from experiences, but from what you write it doesn't sound like you did. Being a 'good guy' is good enough, being yourself is good enough, maybe you just weren't the right guy for her - it doesn't mean you aren't right for other women too. Try to resist the urge to pick yourself apart, acknowledge your pain, this loss, and nurture the parts of your personality you were previously proud to be, supportive, reliable in touch with your emotions. Those are still great things to be. |
 Blackstonewell
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#3
May 30, 2016, 02:45 AM
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I have had similar thoughts, I think we all do when someone leaves us for another relationship. Just because this woman left does not mean there is something you need to change about you! Being a good man, supportive and reliable are wonderful qualities and someone will come along and appreciate you for you!
Please don't change the good things about yourself because you were with someone that wanted something else!!! 
__________________
People are like stained glass windows They sparkle and shine in the sun but when darkness hits their true beauty is revealed only when there is light within . Elizabeth Krubel-Ros |
| Blackstonewell
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#4
May 30, 2016, 02:02 PM
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Do not be so hard on yourself. Why did did she leave you?
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#5
Jun 01, 2016, 02:55 AM
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#6
Jun 01, 2016, 05:13 AM
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So she saw you all while living with another man? So she was cheating on her live in BF with you? I am confused
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#7
Jun 01, 2016, 05:14 AM
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I think the issue isn't that you are too good but that she is no good
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| Blackstonewell
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#8
Jun 01, 2016, 01:58 PM
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#9
Jun 01, 2016, 10:33 PM
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When you're with the wrong person, it's just wrong. And I think that it's never one-sided; you're both wrong for each other. I just broke up (kind of mutual, but he pulled the trigger) with a man who isn't right for me. I recognize it, but it doesn't make it easier. Doesn't make me forget him more quickly. But I'm hoping that seeing him for who he is, and understanding what I need from my partner, will help me move on.
You should too. Move on for you. The right woman is out there. |
| Blackstonewell
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