[Blackstonewell]

I have friends online that tell me I am a great guy and any woman would want to be with me. I've been internalizing all these sentiments and it has helped me to feel better about myself. However, as much as I build my ego up and feeling confident about who I am, nothing has changed socially. I got a nice car, I'm a college student, and I'm a good looking guy. The problem is I still do not have any experience with talking to people of the opposite sex. I grew up in a weird way where I was isolated from the female student body because I was in special education. I sat at home after I graduated for many years and by the time I got to college I could not start a conversation with a woman.

For awhile, my mom or dad drove me to class because I did not drive or have a license. Now I have a license, a car and walk with confidence, yet still I don't feel any different about where I am at with women. I am ruminating that if getting a date is this few and far between that if I don't do this or that right, there won't be any change. As a guy, I feel like I have to "make all the moves", say and do everything to get the attention of the woman, and if I don't I will just go home and wonder if there is another reason for no change. It would be easy to just tell myself that the reason they don't like me is because I'm ugly or awkward or just a weirdo, but I don't know why I am nearly middle aged and I have never had a woman say that they even liked me, I've never been kissed, and I have never had sex. There has to be a reason why I am so overlooked and responded to with only indifference.

If I have so defect or there's something wrong with me that makes women think I am not worth getting intimate with, then okay. I don't know how to be any different. However if I do not have some problem like that, then I don't know what I'm doing because talking to them is scary as heck because I am not good at it. I want it to work out because I am sick of waiting for something real to happen and I'm just driving a car, wearing nice clothes, and still dateless living at home.

Adages like, "It happens when you have your guard down" or "you can't make a heart love you" or "don't look for love because it will find you", why has the most basic intimacies skipped over me? Ugh! It's like I cannot invite myself to a party that I do not know is going on, and waiting for others to invite me is fruitless because they don't do that.

[Talthybius]

I don't know if this is true, but I feel girls only make moves or make their interest obvious to the top 10% most attractive males. Of the other 90%, there is a part of them desperately chasing. Those that are neither chasing really hard or in the top 10%, nothing much happens to them.

Feels like that sometimes. But that can't be really true, right?

[avlady]

i am a 55 year old woman, married with one son. if i was single i would find it hard to talk to men. if someone hits on me i turn them down because i'm married. being married makes it easier is what i'm trying to say. i also chuckle when they do because i'm not getting younger and it makes me feel good to think someone would still be attracted to me!!