Well, I don't think I'll be with my boyfriend much longer. We've been together for almost two years, and live together. Maybe a miracle will happen, but I really don't want to change my mind and decide to stay together because I'm scared to break up. I'm pretty prepared to do it.

I'm going through some anger right now. I don't know how to deal with him. I said I'd give our situation a week before I made any drastic changes, but I already feel like it's over.

In the end, it'd be a good thing. My intuition kept telling me that I wasn't in a good relationship, but I just kept trying to override it with logic. Funny enough, my logic was off. Our relationship just isn't working.

I'm starting to feel anger towards him, although I'm not displaying it, because I know a lot of it has to do with me. I guess this is just normal. I'm still trying to be as nice and understanding as I can. Even if I was upset with him, hey, we won't be together anymore, so it won't be a problem for long. So I'm trying to remain reasonable. I just want us to break up peacefully so we don't carry away any grudges.

I guess I'm mad that I didn't feel more loved, but I just chose the wrong person. Not that he's inherently a bad person, but just not the right match for me.

I also feel bad for the times I was lied to, but then again, I guess we all lie sometimes. Just because someone I meet in the street lies right off the back doesn't mean I hold it against them, since we'll be going our separate ways.

Maybe he needs time alone right now, and I know I probably do.

I'm confused as to when to officially break up. It'll be hard on both of us, especially financially on me because of my situation. It'll be emotionally hard, but he has lots of friends. I don't... but I'll try to get what support I can. At least I have family.

I'm remembering how when I told him that I was worried that our relationship wasn't how I imagined a relationship would be, he got angry at me for comparing him to other people. It makes me upset to remember that... I guess I have to let that go, too.

I suppose I have less to look back on than I thought. He always talked in a goofy, sweet way, but it bothered me how he never talked in a serious way. When he did, he seemed aloof and disconnected, or at least I felt that way. I guess that wasn't what I wanted.

I need to change for the better, myself. Time to let him go and say goodbye.

It's okay, though. It's for the best.

Just a lot of feelings.

Hi Breezy-Day,
Your post is quite thoughtful and shows excellent self-awareness. Yes, you have a lot of feelings right now and it sounds like some big decisions to make. I'm glad you have your family for support as you're right about needing support through a breakup (even if you're the one initiating the breakup.
I'm wishing you welas you continue to work through this.
Take care,
Jayne

Thanks!

Hm, my boyfriend was very upset the other day about me breaking up. Crying, upset, alternating between blaming me (why do you have to make my world crash down?) to saying I'm in the right. It's like he wanted to blame me, but had no logical arguments for why anything I did was actually wrong.

I did mention several times that I had right to leave the relationship if I wanted, because I was worried he was trying to guilt me into staying. But I tried to be nice and not blame him for his feelings. He was going through a lot.

I also felt incredibly guilty and that I'm a bad person to put him through the "we might break up" situation.

I did say I'll give it a week to think over, so I'll stick to that. After brushing things over, I changed my mind about breaking up with him. Part of the reason was guilt, though. I had never seen him so upset or such a strong display of emotions. He seemed completely distraught. After we made up, he went back to being happy really quickly and apologized. I apologized too, and he said it wasn't my fault.

What caused the near breakup was that he kept me so much out of his life that he definitely was getting his emotional needs met elsewhere, or probably was. Well, he's now been helping out more around the house, and he did a run through of everyone he talks to online and what he usually does. He's spent way more time with me and we had the best day in a long time. I can tell why it's so important to be part of your girlfriend's or boyfriend's life. I felt way more secure and happy. Things I've been putting off that I'd usually get done I actually did. It's not so much that I relied on him for happiness, but him cutting me out of his life was very depressing to me.

I'm also not afraid to nag him more to spend time with me. I'll just be nice about it and not hide my feelings or wants like I used to. If he can't stand it, than maybe he'll be more up for breaking up next time. If he needs so much alone time, I at least expect an answer for why.

After all this, I really think that this change in him is simply fueled by his fear of breaking up. He doesn't want to lose me, so he's acting different. I'm worried that when his fear settles down, he'll go back to the way things were before.

A lot of emotions... A lot of ups and downs.

[Bill3]

I'm worried that when his fear settles down, he'll go back to the way things were before.

In the "Cycle of Abuse" there is a typically a phase where the abuser is kind and seems to have turned over a new leaf. This gives the victim hope and so the victim stays around. The abuser soon goes back to his usual ways though.

[MickeyCheeky]

You need to think of yourself first. You are the most important person of your life I'm with you