I feel like everything I try always goes to hell. What I really wanted to do with my life after high school didn't work out. I then went to school and that didn't work out. I went to therapy and had to give that up. Now I've been at home for almost three years, sick and secretly hoping I'd be hit with a more serious illness that'd kill me..

I've tried everything I can to get better and nothing's worked. Now I should start looking for a job as I'm completely broke, but I seem to have decided I don't want to do this anymore. That if I got a job, that wouldn't work either. Nothing will. I'm tired and done trying. But I can't kill myself either.. I'm at a dead end.

Guess I just needed to get this out.. Be honest to at least some people while putting up appearances for others who can't handle how badly I'm doing.. Thank you for reading..

I hear you, and I can certainly relate! I've tried post-secondary school on two occasions and had to drop out early both times. Right now I'm on disability and working a part-time cleaning job.

I know it sounds corny, but sometimes it helps me to think about what is going right in my life, rather than what isn't. Even if it's something that seems small. For me it's my boyfriend, my family, having a job, and my cat Joker. :P

Hang in there!

[campervanman]

Take care my friend..............

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry. I'm very paranoid about my future too. It hurts even more when you have some concrete evidence that things will go wrong ("if they already did, it will happen again")

I can only tell you.. don't beat yourself too much. It's not your fault I wish I had something more useful to say

We all love you

[Yours_Truly]

I can definitely relate and have been feeling the same lately.
I wish I knew what to say.
Btw, I enjoy your posts, they're very insightful and original.