[ThinkOfANameQuick]

I’m really sorry for posting when this sounds like a lot of teenage angst, but this site was helpful last time and I wasn’t really sure where else to go. Around three years ago I moved from HK, so I lost all of my friends then although I was able to make friends at my new school.

I just feel so trapped at the moment. I’m 15, and at the start of the year my friend who I had been in love with for three years left me for a larger group (I had always been part of the same group but over that year it became more exclusive and I do not think I would have liked to be a part of it since I’m a particularly introverted person). This left me and another friends really upset since the start of the school year, since we have to see them being happy every day while there were always problems with our friendship.

We’ve not exactly been good about moving on since we keep making dirty jokes and pulling pranks on them. I know this is bad and has to stop but it is the only thing that makes both of us laugh and I don’t want any of the alternatives. If I started talking to other girls in my year I’d feel guilty because I’d be seeing them as replacements. My friends called me uncaring and the fact that I am unable to hold a conversation helped end the friendship. I’m afraid of talking to new people, lots of whom and feel like the only place I belonged at that school was with the group. They are also the nicest people in the school and I feel bad about not meeting the criteria.

There are also some other issues surrounding the pranks at school, and I have always been disorganized with homework, which I am still struggling with this year. I know that if I used social media to talk to people who weren’t at my school I could slowly re-build my self-esteem but I haven’t even been able to start accounts because of the work involved. It feels as if I am just procrastinating my life away in this bad situation, which is also preventing me from achieving my long-term goals. Is this normal? I’m feeling really trapped and honestly want to drop out of school even though I know I can’t. Some days I try to be productive but for most I’m just wallowing in my own misery. I’ve tried counseling but it hasn’t helped me, although this is my first time going and I’m not sure if I’m saying the right stuff. Any advice there? Thanks if you took the time to read this, I’d really appreciate an answer.

[winter4me]

A lot of this does sound normal for a teenager, angst about friends, school, comparing yourself to others, and to your own ideal. Give yourself time to adjust. Focus on the work at school, and consider getting involved in some school activities/clubs (sports/theater/other) where you can be doing something with others around a shared interest. At 15 so many things are changing inside, you are just "becoming" in a sense.
I remember my son expressing surprise, a few years after high school at how unimportant the things he thought so important then actually turned out to be....things he worried about.((((((((hug))))))))))