[bornunderabadsign]

For the past couple of months I seem to only have three emotional settings. I'm either scared, really sad, or really flipping mad.

I hate these three emotions. Scared and Sad make me not want to do anything. Mad makes me want to do bad things to the people I'm mad at and any one that gets in my way. I don't like being this way.

[avlady]

I was in a few accidents which left anger in my soul for years. i was a maniac. i fought with friends and docs and nurses. i think it was from when i was from the accidents. it left me disabled emotionaly and psychically. i know the madness you feel, you could be helped with meds. i've been helped greatly with my meds and can not think of how bad i would be without them. good luck

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry you feel this way.. Are you in a stressful situation right now?

[bornunderabadsign]

My mother and I share the responsibility of caring for my disabled father and my brothers children who they legally adopted to keep them from ending up in the foster care system.

I can not work because caring for my father is a full time job and my mother isn't in the best health either. Recently because I am home I have also started to care for my uncle from about 8 a.m. to about 4 p.m. while his niece is at work. I don't like driving but as a primary care giver one of my duties is to take them to the doctor or therapy as needed.

Two of the children have varying degrees of learning and developmental disorders and that just add to the burden. Don't get me wrong, I love them and couldn't live without their almost ever present optimism and joy.

I love my parents but some of the things they did to me in the past makes it hard to deal with them without venting my hurt and frustration. They are part of my problem as I have many unresolved issues that stems from my childhood relationship with them.

I think my main problem is that I feel like I am trapped and that in turn makes me feel very anxious and because of their difficulties and my own it just compounds my own issues.