[bdeslaur]

Hello friends,

I have a big problem in my life. Since my fall back in 2015, I've been unable to stay by myself without my parents in my home. My anxiety starts creeping in and I end up using my panic button and having the police come and talk with me. It's truly frustrating. Any tips would be greatly appreciated.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry you feel this way. Do you have a therapist? Did you talk with him about this?

[Frankbtl]

Hi bdeslaur

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time
Not being sure if you mean you experience "pure" anxiety or anxiety with thoughts of "What if........" I'll give it a go from both sides, hoping that's OK........
Maybe brainstorm all the thoughts of "What if........." and list what you could do if each of these things were to happen (also considering how likely they are to happen on your lists!!) and for some things maybe your parents could give you ideas on what to do "if............" then maybe if you had an action plan for the "What if........"s that could reassure you a little...........??
And maybe you could agree with your parents specific times you can phone them, or them you, just to "check-in" for a bit of reassurance??
But before they will be leaving maybe you could plan what to do in that time e.g. if you have a favorite D.V.D. to watch, you highlight/save specific things on youtube to watch, short/easy things you might want to read..........so a list of things, although I'd say to make the list longer than it need be to fill the time as if you do get anxious concentration might be an issue and you might want to switch things. And maybe you could even find things on youtube that could help.........they have lots of relaxation music/clips on there...........maybe some "grounding" or breathing exercises...........
And maybe have something "productive" to do when your parents are out e.g. anything you can do in the home or write your parents a letter telling them...........sometimes it can be hard expressing feelings verbally.............and if you have a T or could get one..........or use helplines.........perhaps you could write down, ready to tell them, what some of the difficulties are.........
And if perhaps you could agree with your parents that they will go out for very short periods of time in between them needing to go for longer...........in a kind of "desensitisation" way.........for you to get a little more used to it??
And while they are out...........there is are chat rooms on here that might help as a distraction or for support..........I haven't tried them but maybe you could have a look??
Just wondering though if maybe a pet, however small, might help as a "comfort factor" when they are out??
Just some thoughts...........



Alison

I recommend a few tools and coping skills I learned in CBT:

Prepare a list of 'Advantages to thinking this worry' against 'Advantages NOT to thinking the worry'

Then, my favourite work, is to deconstruct your catastrophic thinking. Make a three column list: Worst Case Scenario/Best Case Scenario/Likely Case Scenario. Chances are, that last list is going to be the longest. Now, take a look at those things that are on the worst case list and consider if they really are or are not realistic. If you are still of the mind they might happen then this is your opportunity to make a plan for the event they do.