[Sarmas]

I find it frustrating when I'm trying to communicate an important concept with someone and they don't get it. My boys and I have a very busy life at home and needless to say going through a custody battle and divorce has made it even more difficult. My ex tried to find every way to be controlling while we are just trying to stay afloat at home and we are trying to make adjustments In order to get our lives back and live life with less chaos. Just this week my boys are having issues with their father. Their was a major blow up yesterday. I informed their therapist and she didn't even reach out to them. I didn't expect her to get involved between them and their father but I expected her to at least touch base with them. I made her aware of their difficulties and her response was poor. She told me last week that she forgot to put them in the schedule for
This week and I was okay with that but after this then I did expect her to at least text or call them quickly. It seems that when we hit an issue that she dismisses it as either small or insignificant. However it affects them
And ultimately it's all taxing on me. The ironic thing is that the week that she forgets to schedule them is the week with the most controversies with their father with added issues that affect us all.

You need to have a chat with the therapist regarding expectations - especially about communication between sessions. I personally don't believe that texting and emailing between patients and therapists/psychiatrists is appropriate - especially with minors. There are those professionals who will do this but it is unfair to expect this. Determine then if this is in fact part of the therapist's services.

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

You need to have a chat with the therapist regarding expectations - especially about communication between sessions. I personally don't believe that texting and emailing between patients and therapists/psychiatrists is appropriate - especially with minors. There are those professionals who will do this but it is unfair to expect this. Determine then if this is in fact part of the therapist's services.

She's encouraged them to reach out during when need be. She's been good about it. I guess ye expectations is what confused everyone. Usually the boys will discuss it during session. Inguess because they had no session this week then my youngest especially felt lost. Originally he would've seen her either yesterday or today and she would've helped him process what is happening this weekend. Hebsaid he feels like he's going into the situation alone. I tried talking to him and I offered him reassurance. Hopefully it'll help him out.

Yes, the matter of 'losing' a session is troubling. For myself, routine is part of the therapeutic experience. I have a psychiatrist that has made mistakes using the appointment scheduler on his computer. I thus confirm with the administrative staff in his office the date and time. I never leave the office without an appointment for the next.

You are very good in that you are acknowledging your youngest's feelings and validate them as being his own.

I have a question about this sort of therapy as it is a new idea to me. How involved are you in the actual therapy? Does the therapist give you instructions for between sessions? Would it be appropriate to ask her to do so?

[Sarmas]

I know how important it is for me to also not miss a session. It seems that things happen the week that you don't have a session. I also believe that continuity is important and especially in a therapeutic relationship being that it's so involved. She involves me during his session if we need to address something. We have no instruction as to what to do in between session. Sometimes she will say if he can work on a particular area outside of session and make the changes for the next session. Then they can reach out to her out of session if necessary. They used to have a time slot with their prior T and with her they also had a time slot until the beginning of the summer. Then we scheduled on a week to week basis. Last session she said that she had no openings because she has an appt with the doctors and that she forgot. I was okay but when they have major issues or confrontations outside of therapy on a non session week then that's when it all goes down hill. This was all unexpected of course. However my youngest started encountering issues with his father last week the day after his therapy session. He reached out to her then. That was his first breakdown. She then said that because he didn't have a session this week that perhaps they can do a three way conference call with his father. I thought that was great and my son said okay. Then I spoke to her later in the week and she said that she really can't do anything. That was okay because we were figuring a different way about things and his father decided to back off. Then this week everything reversed and she was out of the picture. He's left facing things agin on Friday. My 15 year old got caught in the middle. Just a bad situation for them both. In this particular case I'm not sure how we should've approached it otherwise in order to help his case. How I get involved with her is that I inform her or update her on what's going on. Again with her there's no rhyme or reason as to how or when she gets involved. I think at times she underestimates their "need" for therapy and that's why they're scheduled on this weekly basis where before they weren't. She's going on maternity leave in about two months and gave the option of not seeing anyone at the time. I'm thinking how is that even an option. Apparently she hasn't been listening to anything the boys and I have been saying if that's the case. Our life at home can get very chaotic at times.