[hammerklavier]

First the medications, because that's the most straightforward to talk about: I was doing a risperidone taper(and lithium as well), and had been down to 1 mg for a week when the Dr. switched me to seroquel 50 mg. Now after having expressed to the doc that I'm in a sort of crisis mode, it is yet to be decided(hopefully by today) whether I am to go back to a higher dose of risperidone and lithium, or start going up on seroquel more quickly. Right now, I have constant negative feelings, not the least bit of joy, a tingling and burning sensation in different places on my head, and often feel like I'm trapped in a mental prison(same thoughts over and over, nasty feelings...) There is more that is bothering me, but I'm too tired to get into it. I've slept decently for the last two nights, but several nights in the last 7 days I've have insomnia and think suicidal thoughts on those days. I've been really hating where I'm at in my life for a while, and this is all really hard to deal with.

[gayleggg]

I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now. Med transition between medications can be tough. I'm in the middle of one now too. Hang in there.

[eyesclosed]

no doubt you r suffering it sucks i have the same thing day after day you have my sympothy

[hammerklavier]

Seroquel has been ramped up to 150 mg. They are talking of ramping it to 300 soon. I have a bad feeling that it will do more harm than good. I've been ramped up on antipsychotics before, and I felt this constant restlessness, obsessive bad thoughts. While seroquel is a different class of antipsychotic, I don't understand why they have to use an antipsychotic to treat what really is very severe depression.

It is hard for me to get through each day. I do nothing. I can't do anything and yet I can't not do anything. Sleep was bad last night, and it's been a few days on the 150 mg of seroquel, which is supposed to help with sleep.

[hammerklavier]

Decision was made to go back to 2 mg of risperidone. Took 1 mg last night. Sleep was practically non existent. Not sure how I'm going to get through today.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry you're struggling. Feel free to vent here

[hammerklavier]

Sleep is still bad, but I am getting used to it. Hopefully things will stabilize again and I can get regular sleep.

[VanGore28]

I think you couldn't sleep because the quetiapine would have helped with it, so when you went back to risperidone your body noticed it was missing. Sometimes its a psychosomatic kind of approach, as your brain is like "hey there's something different going on here" and you need to get accustomed to being on your original risperidone. Quetiapine is a strong drug, but I take it as an antipsychotic mostly but it does help with my mood. I took additional Zyprexa for a while and when I stopped, I went into withdrawal like I was sweating like a maniac for months after while trying to come off it. Goes to show you get hooked on these drugs.

[hammerklavier]

Maybe. I was only on it for a week, but ever since quitting it my sleep is consistently bad. It was bad every other night when I was on it, but I was really irritable and panicky, had akathesia(which is reportedly why I quit taking it).

My sleep is still poor. God I hate this. I take 100 mg of trazodone to help with sleep every night, and propranolol for any restless issues I might have(although I don't think it does anything). The doctor said that if I don't get more sleep on trazodone, then upping the risperidone to 2.5 or 3 mg is the next option, which is exactly what I don't want. This drug has killed all my creativity and joy.

[VanGore28]

Looks as if you have some long term sleep issues. Oh akathesia, I got that when I overdosed on quetiapine was absolutely excruciating. Felt like someone was twisting my spine I couldn't stay still don't know how to explain it. It goes to your very bones.
Your doctor will make some changes for you fingers crossed. I know someone who didn't like risperidone as it made her sleep too much. Its not good that it dampens your mood. Maybe ask to increase something else, to help your mood. Abilify would prob just make you restless I'm guessing. I'm not qualified to help I'm afraid. You just have to hang I there.
I remember when they took me off quetiapine to a risperidone injection. They started respiridone at smallest dose and wouldn't change it for a month then two weeks then another two weeks and another so for three months I could barely sleep I had to rely on sleeping tablets that were nowhere near strong enough for me. I was up at 4am. I lay awake the whole night just shattered. worst time of my entire life. I went up on the roof of the hospital and the doctor added mirtazapine. Then they added venlafaxine. Only because I pulled off stunts

[hammerklavier]

I used to take venlafaxine. For a while it was the only drug I took, and it seems to have worked. I can't imagine having it added to an already complex med cocktail. But the fact that it worked alone for so long really makes me question them treating my condition chiefly with an antipsychotic and lithium on top of it. I did take abilify for a while and had akathesia at a very high dose. For some time I was on a low dose of abilify and venlafaxine.

You sound pretty experienced with meds... The doctor has talked about when I get more stable again with my depression/insomnia/whatever else it is, switching to olanzapine. I think there is a similar idea involved with this that there was with switching me to seroquel, to treat mood and 'negative symptoms.'

[VanGore28]

I take venlafaxine and mirtazapine.
Your not on a large dose of quetiapine - I take 500-600mg a night plus I have a few 25mg doses to take during day. Or maybe I'm just on the high dose and your normal lol
Olanzapine should solve your insomnia. I would say its more sedative than Seroquel but the mood properties are not as good. I was on 50mg of olanzapine when I was first ill maybe more. It is quite hard core I will warn you. I could barely focus till midday..But if it works you will build up a tolerance to the drowsiness, just knuckle down, its so hard, some people don't understand this struggle to get the right medication and that sometimes you cannot change your mood by going for a run like scientologists believe..idiots... but anyway misdirected rant.
Yeah so olanzapine, be prepared it will knock you flat to begin with but maybe your doctors aren't like mine who put me straight onto a high dose. Maybe it won't. I have been on most APs - chlozopine, risperidone, abilify, olanzapine, Seroquel, haloperidol. Chlozopine nearly killed me diff story for another time. ...

[hammerklavier]

Day three of bad sleep. I don't know what this insomnia is all about. I feel so tired and out of it, that I should be able to to take a nap, but my brain seems wired "on."

Is chlozopine the drug that has a chance of obliterating your white blood cells? The psych told me about such a drug that is related to seroquel and olanzapine.

[VanGore28]

Yes chlozopine can effect blood count. You get blood tests every single week for six months. But it was my heart that it affected, the muscles swelled up and it was beating dangerously fast. Its meant to be like a last resort or for schizophrenic or maybe possibly violent ppl too. Nasty one lol

[hammerklavier]

Anyone ever felt like their senses were buried under a layer of -name your substance-(cement, for example)? I think I have this sensation in connection with risperidone. I went back up to 3 mg. I just feel kind of disconnected from the world around me.