[DechanDawa]

I feel like I have been working really hard on regaining my mental health in the last two or three years. I try everything. I am allergic to medication so do a more holistic path.

Just when I think things are improving I have another setback.

When bad things happen (like losing my job or truck breaking down) I feel like not only am I not thriving but I am barely surviving.

I am trying to practice CBT and stay stable but it is absolutely the hardest thing ever.

Today I am going to push hard to practice CBT even though it feels like the sky is falling in.

In the past I have always managed to survive hard times. And yes, I had periods where I thrived, too.

Now I am afraid I am not even going to survive. It makes me sad because I try so hard. I also have never been given a diagnosis and even had a psychiatric assessment six months ago and no diagnosis was given. I don't see how that can be possible when my life seems to be made up solely of difficulties. That doesn't seem normal...

[MickeyCheeky]

I believe in you.
I don't know if that can help, but know this.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I believe in you.
I don't know if that can help, but know this.

Wow. Why did you say this?

[MickeyCheeky]

What do you mean? I wanted to encourage you..

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

What do you mean? I wanted to encourage you..

Sorry. I've just been in a bad place. Thanks.

[prof_x]

Seeing how determined you are to continue cbt, I think you should continue looking up professionals until you get a diagnosis. But also keep in mind it can happen different ways. I was in therapy for 3 years before I was diagnosed and started meds with my GPs prescription. Before that when I was ~15 I went to a psychiatrist who prescribed me Prozac within 10 minutes. I didn't like the vibe he put off and Prozac gave me awful side effects. I much rather preferred the route with my therapist. Even if it took awhile, partly bc I was working through a lot of thought based stuff and poor inner voice. Once I got ahold of that I moved onto meds. I've been on Venaflaxine for a couple years now.

In the meantime you could find vitamin supplements that affect your mood. Vitamin D has helped me this winter. Wish you the best.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by prof_x

Seeing how determined you are to continue cbt, I think you should continue looking up professionals until you get a diagnosis. But also keep in mind it can happen different ways. I was in therapy for 3 years before I was diagnosed and started meds with my GPs prescription. Before that when I was ~15 I went to a psychiatrist who prescribed me Prozac within 10 minutes. I didn't like the vibe he put off and Prozac gave me awful side effects. I much rather preferred the route with my therapist. Even if it took awhile, partly bc I was working through a lot of thought based stuff and poor inner voice. Once I got ahold of that I moved onto meds. I've been on Venaflaxine for a couple years now.

In the meantime you could find vitamin supplements that affect your mood. Vitamin D has helped me this winter. Wish you the best.

That's not gonna happen because of money. I don't want to be on psych meds but wouldn't mind benzoes for anxiety but my health care provider does not prescribe them long term and I actually hate just being given 4 or 10 because I think the anxiety is worse coming off them.

Maybe I will find a therapist but I doubt it because no one in my area does CBT or DBT. I just have someone from my health care provider who calls and checks in and I think they are phasing that out.

I spent almost $400 for a psychiatrict assessment last Autumn and the psychiatrist refused to give me a diagnosis and that was a one time thing as now I am broke.

It is what it is. Painful. Very. But I will not stop doing CBT and DBT on my own.