[irish-american123]

Hello, everyone!
I need some advice. I have suffered from a short temper my whole life. I do not know how I got it. No, I do not have bad parents. I do, however, suffer from autism and anxiety disorder. Right now, I am teaching special education at an elementary school. However, I am worried that my inability to control my emotions is going to get me into trouble. It's not the kids that I lose my temper in front of or over (Actually, the kids are great!). It's the adults- other teachers and my bosses that get me frustrated- mainly when I need or want to do something that I think will benefit the kids, and they won't let me or they're in my way. I usually scream, yell, cry, and say inappropriate things (such as "Parents don't care about their children!" or "I can't do this paperwork," which is what I said during my first year of teaching.). I don't usually throw things, and I never hit, punch, or do anything physically violent. My temper is mainly emotional. However, it is out of hand, and I'm really worried that I will lose my job because of it and that I will never find a husband. This temper of mine has been a struggle my whole life. It's really hard for me to control it because my emotions are so strong, and they come on so fast! However, I do want to get control of it because I've hated myself my whole life and am ashamed of myself because of it. I've even contemplated suicide before because I couldn't control this temper (I honestly would rather have a less embarrassing problem such as obesity or shyness than this.). I finally realized that this short temper is what has been making me miserable and depressed for most of my life. So, if any of you have any advice on how to control this temper and how to deal with strong emotions, please let me know! I'm tired of living like this.

[Skeezyks]

Hello irish-american: I see this is your first posts here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

With regard to your concern, I will tell you that this is something I have always had a lot of trouble with as well. And, as I'm an older person, it feels like it's becoming more of a problem as I age. I also have always struggled with a lot of anxiety. I don't know what the answer is unfortunately. One thing that has occurred to me is that I may have some never diagnosed brain damage. There are a number of things, in my childhood, that I could imagine might have led to such a thing. And I know that damage to the frontal areas of the brain can lead to difficulties of this sort.

As far as what to do about the difficulties you are having, perhaps the place to start would be to see a psychologist & get some psychological testing. I've sometimes thought this is something I should have done. But I didn't & at this point in my life it's really too late to worry about it. Perhaps some mental health therapy may also be of some benefit. If your temper is simply the way you learned to deal with experiences in your life, it may just be a matter of learning new ways of handling situations that trigger your temper (not that doing so is going to be easy. But it may be what is going to be necessary.)

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[Thunder Bow]

Why? It is because your job is very important to you, and you put a lot of work and thought into it. Thus the frustrations with your bosses are very hard on you. Do not turn on yourself, because you got angry. It Just shows that you are an excellent Teacher!