Shame

roseblossom · Apr 08, 2017 at 03:08 PM

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with shame?

bearguardian · Apr 08, 2017 at 04:05 PM

Let it destroy you, and realize you are more than one dimensional personality and rotten values of others.

Fuzzybear · Apr 08, 2017 at 04:13 PM

I think bearguardian got it right

(Don't let shame destroy you... you're far more than a one dimensional personality and the sick and rotten values of some others )

Unrigged64072835 · Apr 08, 2017 at 04:55 PM

Shame implies that you are flawed in your core being, which you are not. You may have made mistakes but that doesn't mean *you* are bad. As long as you have learned the lessons from your mistakes you do not need to harbor shame.

roseblossom · Apr 09, 2017 at 07:57 AM

Thanks for your replies.

Yes, somewhere there's been a negative message which went in.

jesswah · Apr 10, 2017 at 09:45 AM

Best advice I've heard is to talk about it. Obviously that's easier said than done and you need to be selective in who you choose to talk to. Maybe pick up any of the books written by Brene Brown?

roseblossom · Apr 10, 2017 at 09:58 AM

Thanks jeswah - I haven't heard of Brene Brown - I will check them out.

itsgettinglate · Apr 11, 2017 at 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jesswah

Best advice I've heard is to talk about it. Obviously that's easier said than done and you need to be selective in who you choose to talk to. Maybe pick up any of the books written by Brene Brown?

I agree with this. Shame seems to thrive on secrecy.

Another thing that helps me with any emotion that may feel too intense is to just feel the physical sensations and observe them. This works for me when I can really identify with my self as that observer. Like the real me is the one hearing the voice saying in one form or another that I should be different. I'm not that voice. I'm the person hearing it. Likewise, I'm not the emotion or even the body feeling the emotion. I'm the awareness observing those things.

That distancing helps me feel less in the middle of it all.

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roseblossom Member Member Since Apr 2013 Location: Never Never Land Posts: 243 11 96 hugs given	Apr 08, 2017 at 03:08 PM #1 Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with shame?
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bearguardian Poohbah Member Since Jan 2017 Location: arcturus Posts: 1,243 7 693 hugs given	Apr 08, 2017 at 04:05 PM #2 Let it destroy you, and realize you are more than one dimensional personality and rotten values of others. __________________ that weird hidden space: http://namshub.netii.net/
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Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,377 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.3k hugs given	Apr 08, 2017 at 04:13 PM #3 I think bearguardian got it right (Don't let shame destroy you... you're far more than a one dimensional personality and the sick and rotten values of some others ) __________________
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Unrigged64072835 Legendary Member Since Oct 2010 Location: Under the noise floor Posts: 18,579 (SuperPoster!) 13 11.8k hugs given	Apr 08, 2017 at 04:55 PM #4 Shame implies that you are flawed in your core being, which you are not. You may have made mistakes but that doesn't mean you are bad. As long as you have learned the lessons from your mistakes you do not need to harbor shame.
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roseblossom Member Member Since Apr 2013 Location: Never Never Land Posts: 243 11 96 hugs given	Apr 09, 2017 at 07:57 AM #5 Thanks for your replies. Yes, somewhere there's been a negative message which went in.
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jesswah Member Member Since Apr 2017 Location: California Posts: 127 7 73 hugs given	Apr 10, 2017 at 09:45 AM #6 Best advice I've heard is to talk about it. Obviously that's easier said than done and you need to be selective in who you choose to talk to. Maybe pick up any of the books written by Brene Brown?
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roseblossom Member Member Since Apr 2013 Location: Never Never Land Posts: 243 11 96 hugs given	Apr 10, 2017 at 09:58 AM #7 Thanks jeswah - I haven't heard of Brene Brown - I will check them out.
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