[roseblossom]

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with shame?

[bearguardian]

Let it destroy you, and realize you are more than one dimensional personality and rotten values of others.

[Fuzzybear]

I think bearguardian got it right

(Don't let shame destroy you... you're far more than a one dimensional personality and the sick and rotten values of some others )

[Unrigged64072835]

Shame implies that you are flawed in your core being, which you are not. You may have made mistakes but that doesn't mean *you* are bad. As long as you have learned the lessons from your mistakes you do not need to harbor shame.

[roseblossom]

Thanks for your replies.

Yes, somewhere there's been a negative message which went in.

[jesswah]

Best advice I've heard is to talk about it. Obviously that's easier said than done and you need to be selective in who you choose to talk to. Maybe pick up any of the books written by Brene Brown?

[roseblossom]

Thanks jeswah - I haven't heard of Brene Brown - I will check them out.

[itsgettinglate]

Originally Posted by jesswah

Best advice I've heard is to talk about it. Obviously that's easier said than done and you need to be selective in who you choose to talk to. Maybe pick up any of the books written by Brene Brown?

I agree with this. Shame seems to thrive on secrecy.

Another thing that helps me with any emotion that may feel too intense is to just feel the physical sensations and observe them. This works for me when I can really identify with my self as that observer. Like the real me is the one hearing the voice saying in one form or another that I should be different. I'm not that voice. I'm the person hearing it. Likewise, I'm not the emotion or even the body feeling the emotion. I'm the awareness observing those things.

That distancing helps me feel less in the middle of it all.