[Monarch Butterfly]

I wasn't sure which section to post this.

I've heard the term for this is hovering hands?

Has anyone reached out to touch your shoulder or arm. Maybe to comfort or reassure you. Instead of making contact, they hover their hand just above briefly and bring their arm down to their side.

Is the person not usually touchy feely and this is their attempt or way of comforting? Testing the waters to see if the other person looks comfortable and next time make contact? Or something else?

The person doing the hovering could be someone you met before once or several times. Not a total stranger.

[Yzen]

I think it could mean any one of the reasons you mentioned. The person could have wanted to reassure you, but sensed you didn't want to be touched or thought they might upset you, so they stopped themselves. Another reason might be that the person is in a professional job where they feel certain types of contact (hugs, touching the shoulder) shouldn't occur with patients. My first therapist was that way.

I think reassuring touches are therapeutic and it makes me feel the person cares when they initiate a friendly touch. Some people don't like to be touched.

[Monarch Butterfly]

Thanks Yzen. I don't mind being touched in a appropriate manner. It does make me feel the person cares. Some people may hold back for reasons you mentioned.

If someone is in distress, it's an unconscious move for me to reach out.

However, conscious thought occurs immediately after, and we have been conditioned by society that any kind of touch could be misconstrued, so we had better think before we act. So, when I think, I stop myself just in case.

It's kind of sad. I guess the motion to reach out and touch is still there, but it's not the same as contact. I understand that there are many that recoil at any sort of contact by a stranger, but I think that's been taught, too...

Touch has a great deal of meaning for both people. It's a deeper level of communication to understand (and see) a strangers distress. And to have the knowledge that someone you don't know sees you're in trouble is tremendously comforting.

That said, it rarely has happened to me. And I think it would be beneficial.

So I think this "hovering hands" is simply an excuse or a case of needing to put a label on a behavior and, in doing so, we turn it into a "problem" when it's not....

[Monarch Butterfly]

True it seems like a label. Found the term on the internet. You do hear "don't touch" it might be misconstrued. Yes some types of touch is inappropriate. I had a person lay their hand on my shoulder once. I didn't feel uncomfortable even though I barely knew the person. I felt a moment of comfort.