I always feel inferior to others. No matter what their backgrounds are, I feel inferior to them. I have these background thoughts that I am not doing well in any area in my life, be it socially or professionally or otherwise, and I probably am afraid for others to find out. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I do feel this way

[MickeyCheeky]

I can definitely relate to that. I'm sorry. I'm sure you do have a lot of good qualities - you just can't see them in your current state of mind.

[nopecope]

I feel your pain. I'm trying to struggle with similar issues myself, to certain extent I think I'm coping. as I watch more and more people and compare them to myself I start to realize that I'm not the worst. but I still have problems when sharing my opinion, declining someone's request to do something I don't want to do. not that I want to feel superior to all the rest, you must feel equal I guess

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I struggle with some of these issues. I think Mickey is right. I'm sure you have many positive qualities and strengths. It helps me to focus on that. Do you have a therapist or psychiatrist (if needed). You need some support. I'm here if you want to talk. I hope you feel better soon. Best wishes.

Hi Mr S, although you haven't written about your family background in this thread you have written about them (& your father particularly) in other threads. It seems you were brought up with a lot of external criticism that was unbalanced by positive praise. Like any child you absorbed these messages and now the criticism is self directed and internal too. Know the reasons why you are feeling this way - it is a pattern which was taught to you at a young age.

Next time a self-critical thought comes into your head try holding it a moment, acknowledging it and then replying inwardly.

For example you may think "I am not smart like he is" - so then think about it and you might decide "Yes he is smart, I admire that about him". Then think a bit about yourself, and this may be tricky but try to be fair and kind to yourself - a good reply might be something like - "I did well educationally, I put a lot of hard work into my studies."

It requires a great deal of practice for some of us to be kind to ourselves (and many of us were told off for boasting when we were children so self-praise is often counter-intuitive), so don't be disheartened if you struggle. You do have many positive traits, you just have to look for them, nurture them and not be afraid to acknowledge them.

Thanks all. I know my upbringing has something to do with it, although it is subconscious and automatic; I cannot help but think this way. It causes me to avoid people altogether or to socialize reluctantly with a very low self-esteem, which may give the impression that I am afraid of something to be known. I find it very hard to praise myself, and I take others' praise with some skepticism.

I think modern day society further reinforces these views of worthlessness with people like us.

They expect people to work hard doing things like going to college, getting a degree, getting a high paying job, and becoming useful to them, yet, those of us who cannot be useful to the majority because of our "issues" are harshly judged which accomplishes nothing more than reinforces our feelings of inferiority.

People like us were born in the wrong time, my friend. Humanity needs to evolve.

[Ljj7000]

Originally Posted by Mr. Stranger

I always feel inferior to others. No matter what their backgrounds are, I feel inferior to them. I have these background thoughts that I am not doing well in any area in my life, be it socially or professionally or otherwise, and I probably am afraid for others to find out. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I do feel this way

I think I've felt this way too. Sometimes, I feel inferior to a lot of people. When I have this feeling, it is hard to get rid of. I try to distract myself.

[Teddy Bear]

I feel inferior to my family because I don't have a house. I feel inferior to people who have a full time job. Just be yourself.

Originally Posted by Mr. Stranger

Thanks all. I know my upbringing has something to do with it, although it is subconscious and automatic; I cannot help but think this way. It causes me to avoid people altogether or to socialize reluctantly with a very low self-esteem, which may give the impression that I am afraid of something to be known. I find it very hard to praise myself, and I take others' praise with some skepticism.

Given what you have written above you could apply self-compassion "I struggle with my self-esteem, but this is something I try to work on. I am trying hard to understand my own thought processes and reactions"

Phrasing it like this you can see that you are actually already doing something positive about your own issues, and that is something you can acknowledge. These are little steps and to begin with you may find it difficult. Post here if it helps.