I can't live here anymore. I live with my family and I'm at my breaking point. Nobody even did anything. It's my father. He exists, I hate him. I feel like my space is invaded by just being around him. He's always been an alcoholic. I was afraid of him when I was younger because of his temper. He hit my brothers and has always made abusive comments to me about my body. Whether it's "oooh you like nice today," if I wear a dress, or "you're fat," if I gain weight. He has made gross sexual comments to me, when I was in college. I'm 34 now and still live here and i can't handle it anymore. I gave him a card for fathers day that said I loved him. But i don't. I can deal with him sometimes, but he sits right by the door, and i have to get my keys and leave and I feel like it just invades y space to pass him. I hate my dad.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry. It's understandable you'd feel this way. How old are you? Hope you'll be able to move as soon as possible..

Sounds like it's time to make plans to move out on your own.

I would make it a priority to get away ASAP even if you have to get a roommate or something to downsize living costs.

I can tell you from experience that living with your childhood abuser is unwise. I lived with my mother who was an abusing control freak well into my adult hood before she passed away about 4 years ago and I didn't stem out to be on my own until 8 months ago.

Living alone has it's challenges but I'm significantly healthier now compared to what I was 4 years ago. In fact, if anybody that knew me back then saw me now they would think I'm a different person.

So leave any way you can. You will be a completely different person.

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

I would make it a priority to get away ASAP even if you have to get a roommate or something to downsize living costs.

I can tell you from experience that living with your childhood abuser is unwise. I lived with my mother who was an abusing control freak well into my adult hood before she passed away about 4 years ago and I didn't stem out to be on my own until 8 months ago.

Living alone has it's challenges but I'm significantly healthier now compared to what I was 4 years ago. In fact, if anybody that knew me back then saw me now they would think I'm a different person.

So leave any way you can. You will be a completely different person.

Thank you DarknessIsMyFriend. This is really helpful. So is everyone else's comments. I am going to leave. I think what has kept me here, with him and my mom, is complacency and fear. They don't help me in terms of saying things like "you can do it," or "we believe in you, you can move out." They seem to want me to stay. Enough about that though. I'm leaving. I put up a message on craigslist this morning looking for a room.

Originally Posted by starrysky

Thank you DarknessIsMyFriend. This is really helpful. So is everyone else's comments. I am going to leave. I think what has kept me here, with him and my mom, is complacency and fear. They don't help me in terms of saying things like "you can do it," or "we believe in you, you can move out." They seem to want me to stay. Enough about that though. I'm leaving. I put up a message on craigslist this morning looking for a room.

Good job!

They want you to stay obviously because they know if you leave and become independent from them, they can't control you any more.

Abuse is all about power and control. Deny them that and they're nothing.

[Sunflower123]

Good job! I had a very difficult relationship with my abusive father as well. I left at 18 to get away from the toxicity. It will do you a world of good to leave. You'll feel so much better. Good for you. Good luck finding a suitable place. Best wishes.

I posted on craigslist and already am getting creepy responses like "send me your pic." I'm basically not responding to any men. Unless it seems legit and not creepy.

I think this is something that will take some time, and I shouldn't do it so desperately and in such a panic. I am moving out though.

[Unrigged64072835]

Yeah, Craigslist can get like that sometimes. Be careful.

Originally Posted by starrysky

I posted on craigslist and already am getting creepy responses like "send me your pic." I'm basically not responding to any men. Unless it seems legit and not creepy.

I would like you to consider taking the idea of a male roommate completely OFF the table, even if it genuinely is legit and he seems genuinely great.

I think living with a man (just for your first time being independent) might not be so good for you....

Just a thought...