[eyesclosed]

I can't explain how I feel now. I don't feel good. Rejected by everyone.

[Sunflower123]

I would think having divorce court tomorrow is stirring up a bunch of negative stuff right now. It will be over soon. You will feel better. Can you be gentle with yourself and distract yourself until court begins? I'm rooting for you. I weant through a divorce in 2009. I know how rough it is. I'm here if you need to talk. Best wishes.

[dermald]

I went through a divorce in 1999. It was brutal. She told lies about me, and the judge believed her completely. Every time I said something, I was accused of lying. I couldn't afford a lawyer. The judge nick-named me "Mr. Wife Beater," even though I'd never hit her.

My ex lied downward about her income, meaning I had to pay more. She fought for very minimal visitation with my son, meaning I had to pay more. Then, the judge disregarded my hourly rate, as I was working a temp job, and declared my salary to be "based on what I feel you should be making as a white man." It took me six years to start earning that.

Then, she proceeded to take everything. I found out the hard way, it doesn't stop at half. Everything. I was destroyed. It was the first and only time that I've seen my mother cry.

Finally, in the elevator, this lawyer could tell that I was destroyed and handed me his business card. He said, "You can call me next time." I told him there would not be a next time, and he laughed, replying, "There will be a next time. They always come back. They always think it will be different."

I know the alone feeling. I also felt stupid, and had no hope for my future.

Best of luck.

[Unrigged64072835]

Best of luck to you. It's rough.

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by eyesclosed

I can't explain how I feel now. I don't feel good. Rejected by everyone.

Wish you the best. I've been through a nasty custody/divorce case recently. It was horrible and my emotions were everywhere. Just dealing with normal day to day life issues was an issue and on top of that a nasty court case was making me go insane. I also felt alone and I spoke to my Therpaist about it. She seemed to think that this is a normal process to go through and that I made it worse in myself. Well every divorce case is different. This was my second and not by choice. I left my first because he was seeing someone else and admitted it. He would put me down and so on. Then the second we were married for quite some time. We had kids and he just picked up and left. He admitted to my son that before he left me that his mother set him up with someone so that he wouldn't be alone. It's never easy and there's a lot of healing involved. Only you know your case best and your struggles. Breathe before you think and take one day at a time.

I had to take things and divide everything in small pieces in my head in order to even function in life. It was lots of adjustments for my children and I. Seeing them adjusting and go through changes really was difficult for me as well.

As far as court it was endless for me. I don't even want to discuss it. If you have a lawyer then that's wonderful at least you have someone there on your side. I struggled in court and out of court. Went to my Therpaist and struggled with her and tried to explain my struggles. I learned that only I can make the changes and I have my ways of coping in order to get through difficult times. It's a science for me that I'm still working on.