I feel like a terrible person and even terrible parent.

I really need all the help I can get right now. Even if it's just someone to chat with. My self esteem is at an all-time low.

I struggled with myself before I had a baby and now that I'm a new mom I'm having a hard time coping. I've posted some issues in a previous thread already, so to sum it up, things are very challenging right now. I don't even know if I have the right to feel half of what I feel.

I'm angry at myself. I feel filled with hatred, rather than love. I mean I feel love towards my newborn, yet I hate his father and I don't have the right to. I haven't given myself permission to feel anything, I'm just trying to move on. But how do you move on from something that owes you. Someone who owes you at least a phone call.

I feel betrayed. I feel deceived. Mostly, I feel abandoned.

As much as I try to push this aside to be a strong parent for my child, I'm having a hard time. I'm in this alone.

No support. No breaks. And my life is a disaster. I don't know how to demand the time I need to get things together so I can be that strong parent. I'm becoming short fused. Especially when I can't figure out why the hell my child is wailing.

Then I figure it out....ever so slowly. But not before Ive been upset, lost my cool, walked away from my child numerous times to regroup. I get upset when it's back to back crying and nothing changes, no matter what I do. At least that's what ive been feeling up until now. Only now I know what's been ailing my child.

How do you parents manage? How do you cope with stress of being a parent and raising children? How do raise your children to be and do the best?

My life is in shambles and I feel guilty for having this child. Not because I can't be a great mom or provide - but because I have so much to clean up it couldn't have come at a worse time. Again, feelings.

I don't know how to steal minutes without feeling guilty. I don't know how to be ok leaving him to cry for a few minutes knowing he's ok yet wailing. I'm brand new at this and I'm lollipop exhausted. My arm literally has started spasming because I can't put him down unless he's asleep. Ive tried to walk away to catch my breath (ive started having panic attacks) and his crying makes my insides rattle. I hate it I have to fix it. I have to comfort him and soothe him anyway I can. And when he smiles at me and giggles and babbles I lose myself in his wonderful little soul. It feels like ive known him forever.

Please respond. I'm desperately seeking ....all the comments I can get.

I'm not at all qualified to offer advice for this, but if you want to keep writing, I will keep listening. I think every single emotion you are feeling is 100% valid. There ought to be no shame in our society to admit that you might regret having a child, especially when it's clear that you are doing so much to make his life the best it can be.

Admitting how hard this is, and how bad the timing in your life was for all this does not make you a bad person or mother. I promise you that much.

YOU ARE WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!!!
You can do this step by dam step. Deep breaths & minute by minute.

It's ok to let a baby cry. It helps them to learn to self soothe & they really do need to learn this coping mechanism for the future.
I've also read that crying increases the gray matter of the brain, for higher thinking. Idk but I believed it.
You also deserve time to yourself! Nothing wrong with setting a timer & having the "hour of power" I called it. This was my self indulgent time to do anything I wanted & NO guilt. Sleep. Read. Veg. Whatever it was mine to squander.
Take it. Happy mom; happy baby.

I remember telling each of my kids the first time I held them, "I'm probably not going to do a lot of this mom stuff right, but I'll try what is MY best."
Yup we make mistakes that I do know about parenting. And I really learned to ask for help. It wasn't just for me now, but for the family. Ask for help.

It took a great deal of courage to write your post! I hope you truly see that. You're in for some rough roads & hopefully we can all support you. I will!
And yeah I feel like I suck as a parent!

Sounds like you are doing this all by yourself. I agree with Patagonia that you are going to need to sneak in breaks in order to refresh yourself. I don't think there is one correct way to parent. Remember, people, including babies, are not happy 100 percent of the time so if your child is having is also giggling, smiling and sleeping peacefully as well, perhaps you are feeling more guilty than you should. You did not say how old your child is but parenting an infant is just a very tiring job--especially during the first 12 months. For me, I started being able to get more sleep after their first birthday--so if your child is very young--it will likely get more managable as they get older. Hang in there!

It can be tough parenting a baby. There is nothing wrong with admitting you are overwhelmed or wondering whether you should have had the baby. Your feelings are valid. I agree with the above about building in breaks. This is essential. Is there someone in the picture who could step in and relieve you from time to time? You can always find support here. Sending big hugs.

Yes I'm doing this all by myself. I don't have a single person to step in and offer me breaks. It also doesn't help that my baby doesn't like a wrap or carrier. So my left arm is about to fall off. My right arm is too weak and my back is jacked. I had spinal surgery a year and a half ago. I know it sound like I'm complaining but I think as a new parent this adjustment is hard. I am friends with other moms, some single, some married (honestly we all go through the same thing) and their child is WAY different. I know it's to be expected, but do I have a high demand child? I feel like he is more needy than other babies I've seen. But also he seems to be growing way ahead of the game (can't complain there). It's a lot. I don't know how to put him down, sneak the breaks I need (not feel guilty about it) and manage my sh#! altogether...

Thank you, he'll be 11 weeks old tomorrow. Apparently he's teething and I just discovered he has an allergy to cows milk and changed his formula. I'm facing a nightmare right now, but I suppose this is the nature of parenting.

parenting an infant is hard work and exhausting.

It sounds like you are a loving parent and doing the best you. Try to feel proud of that.

Sometimes babies fuss and scream and we can't figure out why. It comes with the territory