Coping with feelings for someone i wish i didnt have

Hello everyone!
I need some feedback. I am a swf who has been dating someone but i am not in love with this guy anymore and want to end the relationship. Part of the reason why is because we are not compatible and i fell for someone else. The issue with this other guy is hes married and and i am not affair material so ive kept my distance but i cant stop thinking about him. I dont think he is happy in his marriage. It had been a while since we talked because of the intensity of how things were. The thing is ahould i reach out to him or see if he will to me? I would like some answers. Please help i feel like im at a crossroads . i miss him but dont know about reaching out just tosay hi if that will send a wrong message or he might take me for granted. I just need to clear the air with us so i can plan accordingly even tho im living my life but im hurting

You say he's not happy based on what? Did he tell you that?
Anyway, I'd leave your current boyfriend first since you don't seem to love him..

It might be a good idea to break up with the old boyfriend since you don’t love him anymore. I think you should let your married boyfriend make the first move. If he is unhappy in his marriage, and you’re assuming that, he could leave his marriage. I just think you’re headed down a slippery slope that will end in heartache.

Yea i dont want to get hurt nor do i want to hurt him would not want to rush into anything but the thing is slowing down from the intensity so we can maybe talk is the thing not sure what to do about that energy

Saying they are unhappy in marriage is the oldest line in the book for a guy or a woma who just wants some action on the side. This won't end well. Are you really sure you want to go down that road?

I dont want to be the other woman i but i want to open the door for something if he gets divorced thats why i asked about contacting him.

I would break it off with the current boyfriend since you no longer love him. Getting involved with a married man on any level romantically is leading to trouble, and rarely do they leave their marriage. Being strictly platonic friends with him while he figures it out is a possibility, but that's hard if you have feelings for him. I would say find someone else who is fully available and move on from the married guy. ((((hugs)))

I have tried to forget him and bury my feelings but there still there. There something deep down in me that knows something good could happen. But your right on not being able to ne friends that would be hard but id like to get to know him better as a person and cool the flames some ive never felt this strong pell or draw beforeit just happens to be with a married one

i also think that if i got involved with him now the less likely he will deal with his marriage by that i mean fix it or divorce so im teying to be patient ita confusing and i would like answers from him